Dressed in your Pajamas…again – At Sea – [10/03/2015]

269152They tell us that in an actual emergency 60% of people will do nothing at all…they don’t freeze, they don’t panic, they simply don’t respond.

Experience continues to tell me that this is a true statistic, though before tonight I had only been in a situation onboard twice when the alarm was actually sounded for anything other than a drill.

It continues to be the most surreal experience that you could have out here. You feel like you’re in a whole different dimension from everyone else.

One moment you’re slopping rice and beef stew onto your plate for supper, and the next…well, there’s that micro-second of complete silence as the first stage alarm sounds where no one in the crew mess moves. That split-second dead space where everyone’s heart stops and everyone takes a beat to process that they’re hearing what they think they’re hearing. And then you move, you don’t think about it, you don’t process it, you just move – plates hit tables, glasses get dropped, silverware hits the floor with a clatter and those of us who don’t have an emergency function just get out of the way…and then suddenly the mess is empty…moments before it was teaming, and then it’s just…empty.

It was eerie.

Since neither Amras or I have an emergency function that requires us to head to stations before the second stage alarm we crossed the empty room, put our plates down, and tried to eat something. But it’s tough to focus on beef stew when your ears are straining for the ‘ding-dong-ding’ of the announcement bell. As always I paraphrase conversations slightly, but something along the lines of

Hun, don’t you live in fire zone 5?

Yes, yes I do…so…my cabin’s off-limits. Good thing all my important stuff is in my purse, and I left that in your room…except my coat, dammit I don’t think my coat is in yours.

The last tenant’s girlfriend left a spare jacket in my closet remember? That will fit you. If it comes to it…

If it comes to it…you try so hard not to think about the ‘if it comes to it’. I almost missed the days when I had an immediate emergency function, when I was doing something right away and that kept my mind of what may or may not happen…not that I really thought anything would but it’s so odd to sit there and do nothing…or just wait for someone to tell you what to do.

It’s so strange the things you think of at times like that. Of all the things I could have focused on, all that kept clambering into my head was Neverland of all things. Of all the stuff I could have picked to worry about, that was what stuck…the fact that if something happened, I wasn’t going to be able to save my embroidery; that I hadn’t thought to rip it from the frame.

No idea why that was suddenly so important, but it was.

The whole thing was over in about an hour, turns out that it wasn’t a fire at all, the smoke was coming from something completely different and once located was taken care of quickly and safely. Our emergency teams know what they’re doing. There was never any real danger.

Still, it’s one of those moments where you become mightily aware just how vulnerable you are on here in the middle of the Pacific.

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Sun-Drenched – Maui, Hawai’i – [09/29/2015]

71MNn48Ve0L._SL1500_Lying on my back supported by the surging water of the sapphire blue pacific this afternoon, I was once again struck by just how lucky we really are. I think it was about then I had Amras take a picture of me with the resort splashed behind me…because some things are just a requirement of days like that.

We spent most of the day crashing various hotel pools (although I never actually worked up the nerve to go into a pool, but I am more than willing to usurp a beach chair or two!), and lamenting the fact that our little mini-vacation is almost over. We have only two more days in Hawai’i before we start the long trip back to San Diego to begin the South America season. Not that South America doesn’t have a lot to offer of course, but it’s not Hawai’i!

Really, I would love to come back here properly one day, actually be able to spend a proper vacation with nothing to do except lie on the beach and swim in the ocean. There is an undeniable appeal to that. Even though my Canadian blood renders me with a lousy head for the sun, as long as I’m somewhere near the water so that I can cool off, I find I balance out.

Though it was a close thing early this morning. About half-way through looking for a beach, Amras looked at me and immediately asked me what was wrong; at which point I realized that my wooziness must be showing on my face.

It’s the heat…I can’t take this kind of heat for very long. I’m okay if I can dash in and out of A/C but here everything is open air-planning, even the big hotels don’t have air-conditioning.

This is one of the reasons that I spent so long in the ocean in the afternoon.

So, so many times, the ocean just heals everything…and riding those currents? Feeling completely weightless? That…is one heck of a good way to spend the day.

 

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Island Girl – Kaui, Hawai’i – [09/28/2015]

Al Moore. Pin-Up Girls. DO h. Pin-Up Girls-021They say Kaui is the most beautiful of all the Hawai’ian islands. I would be tempted to agree with that statement.

They filed the Jurassic Park here, and you can see why – it looks like another world the deeper you drive into the island.

Four of us took a taxi from the port; since the free shuttles proved somewhat disorganized, and since we always have to give priority to guests on said shuttles (understandably so), it was unlikely that if we hadn’t gone for a cab we may not have gotten anywhere at all!). Split between four people the fare to one of the most popular beaches on the island didn’t work out to that much, and it was so worth it.

Miles and miles of brown-sugar sand and not a passenger (or heck, even another crew member) in sight as far as the eye could see. And the surf I have never seen waves like that, except in the movies. There were monk seals just lounging on the beach, like they owned the place – which they may as well have, as they are an endangered species and it was two staff member’s job to continually move the fences around them to see that they were not disturbed in any way.

We rented snorkel gear for the day and plunged into the Hawai’ian surf like kids. I too often forget just how much I love snorkeling. I don’t get to do it often enough. There is nothing but peace under the water, all you can hear is the sound of your own breathing, and below you is a whole other world. The colours…fish in all the colours of the rainbow, flashing through the murky sand-choked visibility (kicked up by the high current) in rose pinks and neon yellows, even pitch black, like living jewels in the water. This was one of those days where – despite the poor visibility – I was grateful for my underwater camera. I was also grateful to have Amras next to me, as snorkeling requires me to take off my glasses and without someone alongside me I would miss so much, not to mention I’d risk getting lost!

I will also admit that I’m a bit nervous in high surf, much as I trust the mamma ocean, you’d be a fool to underestimate her power, and the rip tides around the beaches here are fierce. Since I don’t weigh much and I’m not as strong a swimmer as I’d like to be, keeping someone next to me was a good idea.

Once we’d had our fill of surf, we packed up the beach towel and headed to the beach-side resort for lunch, from the patio of the restaurant we could see the surfers riding the waves just off shore. One of these days that’s something else I wouldn’t mind checking off my bucket list. Not this day though.

There are days when this job takes everything out of you…and doesn’t often seem to give much back; then there are days when you have the sun on your face, and the taste of the sea still on your skin, and really really good friends…those days, make a lot of things worthwhile out here.

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Aloha – Honolulu, Hawaii – [09-28-2015]

After five days and six Edward_Runcinights at sea, we finally drew into Honolulu harbor this morning. Granted, it was rather grey and overcast, and on and off the rain erupted all day, but…it feels so good to just be on land!

Early (and I mean exceptionally early) this morning the entertainment team rose bright eyed and bushy tailed to be on the gangway and “lei” all the passengers (yes, make all the jokes you want, I guarantee you they’ve already been made many times!) – the leis they gave us were fresh flowers and smelled absolutely heavenly. Surprisingly there wasn’t a huge rush to get off the ship, which is a shock after so long at sea…the guests seem content to take their time on things, if they chose to get off at all.

The crew on the other hand; having worked a 5 day slog with maximum hours a day as we plowed our way across the Pacific, I’m surprised that we didn’t run down the gangway!

We’re here on an overnight, so thankfully most of us are working minimal hours (there really aren’t that many passengers who stay onboard on an overnight), split shift bracketing the day. In other words, I had to come back to the ship to close up, after that my evening is my own; as long as I’m back in time to open up the library tomorrow morning (which also coincides with when IPM begins for the next day).

It may not be the sundrenched shores of the postcards just at the moment, but that doesn’t mean it’s not Hawaii. The air is heavy with humidity and plumeria flowers and everything smells of sunscreen. The rain didn’t particularly bother us, like a few other places I know, this is a port where if it rains, it’s tropical rain. It may soak you to the skin and you laugh as you try to unsuccessfully avoid getting drenched, but you don’t end up being cold. The big floppy straw hat I probably paid way too much money for actually took care of keeping me surprisingly dry.

Lunch found us at the Hard Rock Café, eating friend plantains and watching a huge festival parade go by (I’ve never seen so many horses in one parade!); which means that I acquired yet another Hard Rock Café glass for my collection, I think that makes 5 now. By the time I finally have a proper place to keep them I’ll have enough to serve a small but respectful gathering of people!

We ambled our way through a sprawling outdoor market, mostly run by Chinese merchants, which seemed to feature everything from beach towels and Hawai’ian shirts to bottle openers. I ended up adding another charm to my bracelet, one that I didn’t ever think to find but am very glad I stumbled across. Soon enough I’m going to have to start stacking bracelets!

Sitting up to our necks in a hot tub, sipping something with an umbrella in it, the last thing we wanted to think about was going back to work…so we didn’t. The ship became an undiscussed topic for the duration of the day, except for when we were bragging about how awesome a job we had to other people who happened to be in the hot tub with us.

You guys live on a cruise ship?

Ye-ah, rough job, someone has to do it…

One of those moments when you realize that yes, right this very second, you are being paid.

That, my dear friends, is pretty bloody awesome…

 

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Penny on the Descent – At Sea – [09/23/2015]

Who am I angirl_fridayyway
Am I my resume
That is a picture, of a person I don’t know
What does he want from me
What should I try to be?
So many faces, all around and here we go
I need this job
Oh god I need this show…

I forget that I’m actually quite good at phone interviews. I landed my first two major jobs via phone interviews. My voice never sounds nervous, and you can’t see over the phone that I’m nervously twirling my hair or fiddling with a pen. So there I sat, in a locked office, waiting for a phone to ring that I was certain was going to remain silent.

Except ring it did. The hiring manager on the other end offered immediate and profuse apologies for being so late, explaining that he had gotten caught up in a ship-to-shore call (thinking it was me calling him ironically) and couldn’t get out of it.

After 45 minutes on the phone, I’m willing to admit something: I want this job.

You may laugh, but I wasn’t willing to admit that this morning. For one thing, I hadn’t really heard from the source what the job really was – that’s what the interview was about. Now that I know a bit more about it, I’m finding my interest is perked a lot more. This is one heck of a carrot at the end of the stick. The one thing that was really holding me back from committing to be interested was that I was afraid I wouldn’t be travelling anymore, but as it turns out ,travel is going to be a fair bit of the job description; possibly as much as bi-monthly.

A long time ago – or what feels like a long time ago – I sat in a corner café in Sicily with Amras and went on and on and on about a job that didn’t exist yet. A job I wanted; but couldn’t figure out how to create; because it didn’t exist yet.

Well it exists now, and I think I just interviewed for it…

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Penny Still Spinning…. – At Sea – [09/23/2015]

glassdesk1I feel like I’m going to throw up

Now you are NOT going to be sick!

Not if I faint first!

~ Victor Victoria

Or

Just like a boxer in a title fight
You’ve got to walk in that ring all alone
You’re not the only one to make mistakes
But they’re the only thing that you can truly call your own
~ Billy Joel, Second Wind

I do not do so great with auditions, or interviews of any kind. Especially important ones, and there’s a lot potentially riding on this interview that I have in three and a half hours. I wish there was a way I could just skip the next few hours and have it be over and done with.

I just never know how to prepare for these things. You’re supposed to be all saavy and know what to ask and what to say …heck you’re supposed to know what you want! I have no idea what I want! Every time I think I’ve made up my mind, it changes itself again, or decides it’s really not sure.

I’m better with auditions than I am with interviews really. Auditions well, they’re not you. I mean yes, you’re up on that stage prostrating yourself in front of the director and begging for a job, but it’s also whatever character your monologue is, whatever tone your song is…you have stuff to hide behind. You have hours and days and years of training to hide behind. With a normal job interview? All you have is yourself. And sometimes I’m not that good a shield to hide myself behind.

Of course, in the hours leading up to the interview, I still have to do my actual job, which is proving to be somewhat difficult as I’m about as focused as a golden retriever puppy. Which is to say not very much. I think I have butterflies in my stomach the size of dragons…or semi-trucks…

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Penny in the Air – [09/22/2015]

secretary10Remember when you went out for your first job? Remember how you were so nervous you couldn’t sleep the night before the interview. Remember how crushed you were when the guy asked ‘what kind of experience do you have?’, you wanted to shake your fists and say I can do anything if someone would just give me a chance. ~ Secret of My Success

What feels like weeks ago Toffy told me that my application for Head Office had been passed over because of lack of experience; I was – at the time – devastated, but she told me to reapply directly since I was an internal candidate. She helped me rework my resume and my cover email and I dutifully sent them off. I received a response within an hour saying that they would follow up with HR and get back to me as soon as possible.

To be honest, I didn’t really expect anything to come of it.

Until I was sitting checking my email last week after the department party and suddenly what I was seeing in my inbox actually registered.

OHmygod!

What what is it?

OHMYGOD

You’re freaking me out, what IS it?

The interview…I…I got the interview.

They had sent the interview confirmation the day before, but I hadn’t been properly online yesterday; so I never received it. I agonized for a few minutes over a professional sounding response that included an apology for my delay in replying, I must have deleted it about six times before settling on something that sounded half decent.

Hell, I suck at this kind of stuff.

And I read him off what I’d sent.

No you don’t suck at this stuff, that sounded perfect.

I did get a read receipt back in a few minutes, but no actual response. I didn’t get a response until this week, when corporate HR wrote to me to set up a phone interview for tomorrow afternoon. It feels strange knowing that this time I will be the one plastering a sign on the Entertainment Office door reading “Conference Call in Progress DO NOT DISTURB”…

I have no idea what I want from this, not really. This is a job I could do, and do well, but it is also a huge life change if it actually happens, and to be honest I’m not sure if it’s a life change that I’m ready for. That said, it is also just an interview; not a job offer, not a guarantee, just an interview. I can say no, I can tell them the truth and say I’m unavailable until June (which, considering that I have another contract locked in after this is technically true), there’s nothing really I can do except just see what way the chips fall.

They say that when you toss a coin you already know which way you want it to land…but right now it seems my penny is spinning in the air…

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The Bluest Skies You’ve Ever Seen – Juneau, Alaska – [08/20/2015]

TravelingWhen it’s time to leave your home
And your loved ones
It’s the hardest thing a girl can ever do
And you pray that you will find
Something warm and sweet and kind
But you’re not sure what’s waiting there for you
~ In Seattle

They say you know when the time comes. They say that the universe tosses you opportunities and if you aren’t smart enough to grasp them then you simply remain where you are…gilded handcuffs, stay safe and all that.

I never thought the time would come when I would even consider leaving ships. I figured I was out here for at least another two years (that’s how much longer I have on the principle of my student loan), if only because the alternative was going back to waiting tables and packing hardware supplies and I just couldn’t do that to myself again. After all, I do love it out here, and I’m very very good at my job. I’ve carved out a life on the waves, and I was pretty sure that life was going to do me for a while.

But things change, things shift, and life is never quite what you expect it to be.

It’s long been a running joke that I would possibly survive in the Corporate Office. With the exception of needing to formalize my often over-casual communication skills, I have a good head for networking and I’m decent at dealing with people. The idea of moving to Head Office was first pitched to me a few years ago, and laughed off, because I would never leave the fleet. But then there were changes announced – changes that are going to effect my whole job, and with those changes a new position opened up in the Corporate Office. A job that encompasses a large portion of what I already do – plus a steep learning curve to pick up the other necessary skills, but a job that everyone who’s seen the description (which was sent to me yesterday) has said has me written all over it.

I spent yesterday collecting names for references and gaining interview and communication tips from Toffy – who is, thankfully, no longer in Entertainment and is therefore able to advise me neutrally, because I can’t ask anyone in my own department at the corporate level for advice without risking negatively impacting my application by looking ignorant. I can relax that a little bit with my current supervisor as she has already told me she will have no input into the process since the position in question would be her peer reporting to the same manager, hence it’s considered a conflict of interest. Still, in a process like this, only someone outside the department is truly safe to confide in.

If I am granted an interview – and that is far from a sure thing – I will still be advising them that I am not available until the end of my next contract, as I have been committed to that for some time and I want to follow it through. That may or may not make a difference on how things proceed from that point; but it’s something I wouldn’t feel right not acknowledging.

I also had long talks – as in all day long – with various people about this, because it’s not just my life that will be affected if I go shore-side. I’ve long talked about putting my feet on solid ground, but it was just talk until this opened itself up. This is big girl stuff, this is settle-down-buy-a-house stuff, and that means sacrifices and priorities. One of the blessed things about the Pack is that they all insist that I put myself as first priority, and allow everything else to follow suit. That’s not always an easy thing for me, but in this case I had to agree with them that it may end up being necessary.

This is serious stuff, this is settle down get a condo go 9-5 stuff. It means giving up a lot to – I hope – gain a lot.

It’s also all spec at the moment, because I haven’t even got the interview, and if it goes two weeks without my hearing anything I’ll assume that I’m meant to stay where I am. And even if I do get an offer, I’m far from 100% sure that it’s something I actually want to follow through with.

But…at least…at least this time I’m getting on the plane so to speak.

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Back with a Vengeance – At Sea – [09/21/2015]

MinkAmras and I had pretty much settled into the fact that if we wanted to play COD, we were just going to play with each other; it’s surprisingly difficult to find players onboard sometimes, and Predator has left ships so there’s no way he could end up with us…

However, much to our mutual surprise, one of the new ‘Cats that joined yesterday (whom we both know from a previous contract), is a gamer. A really good gamer. Once he got a hold of the version of the game we played, we officially had a new recruit.

And Mink got dragged out of semi-retirement. Although, it was with conditions; last night after rehearsal there was immediate talk of a game after the welcome aboard party, and just as I took a breath to say something, it was Amras who stepped into save me

Thing is, Shaughnessy has really early mornings and really long days for a crossing…

Oooh?

Yeah, he’s right. I’ve got eleven hour days straight through to Hawai’i; means I’m either dead to the world by 10pm, or I’m in a place where I need to work off some aggression, depends on the day.

Fair enough.

And it’s true, sometimes I really just don’t want to see anyone at the end of the day, not even Amras. Last night though, we figured it would be a decent idea to at least try a test game; which led to the usual exchanges during the game.

What?! But! You dropped, I saw you go down!

Welcome to last stand my friend!

And you? How are YOU still alive?

Juggernaut baby…

Oh yeah, Mink, you have to take Mink down in one shot, otherwise…she’ll probably take you down with her.

Okay, so it deprives me of a bit of sleep, but it’s fair to say I have missed my little tension release.

 

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Flying Start – At Sea – [09/21/2015]

Tired businesswoman with telephones and pen in her mouth sitting

Tired businesswoman with telephones and pen in her mouth sitting

You can lull yourself into forgetting what a crossing is like; until you’re back in one and the memory comes back with frightening force. Embark day for a crossing feels almost like embark day for a world cruise, only slightly less crazed.

Trying to handle filling up shelves that have been completely plundered within the first hour of my being open – I’ve checked out 138 books in under 48 hours – , completing the sign-ups for book club (thankfully only 20 of the 30 books went, so the group may actually be manageable this season), coping with the fact that three-quarters of the cruisers are multi-return cruisers and more than a handful of them know me from the flagship (I can never get away….sometimes I think I could switch lines and never get away), and fueled completely by one extra-strong mocha at 7:50 in the morning, which by the time I finally got to drink it was ice cold. Bleh

And it’s not even 12 o’clock yet.

Sometimes I feel like the hindu goddess that has 8 arms, one is handling the book club sign-ups, the other is keying up someone’s internet account, one is answering the phone, one is checking the safety schedule…and on and on

Plus, it feels like we’re in for a bumpy ride. I’m unsure whether or not they had the stabilizers out this morning (I just don’t know enough about the engine room to tell) but in the wee hours of this morning it was rocky enough to wake us. This is not uncommon for the trans-pacific, there’s two extremes for the trip to Hawai’i: it’s either smooth as glass, or it tosses us like a cork in a hurricane. Right now it seems to have settled down to something in the middle, but the roll is still somewhat noticeable.

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