Stock-piling – Juneau, Alaska – [09/16/2015]

-1950s-usa-fridges-housewives-housewife-the-advertising-archivesOne thing about Crossings, they always take a hefty chunk out of your paycheque. Mentally surviving a crossing requires stuff…mostly in the way of snacks and such, because the ship does on occasion run out of things.

As a result, most of us spent our final call in Juneau prowling the aisles of the local superstore and picking up everything from spare nylons to cereal.

Damn, I need to get dry erase markers for the library…be right back.

Do you want yogurt?

Yes! Oh, that reminds me, I need to get my meal shakes…6 days out 6 days in, better get the twelve pack then…

And on and on…of course you end up picking up stuff you don’t need. I got a new computer game, and a poster proudly blazes out the lyrics of one of my favourite Disney power-songs; and I had to get spare thread for Neverland as I’m out of several colours again, the replacements aren’t anywhere near perfect matches but they beat having blanks left in the pattern. Amras says that that’s for mental survival.

Get home get everything unpacked and into the tiny little bar fridge, and mission mostly accomplished. As for why everyone picks up so much in the way of snacks and such before a crossing, well, that’s easy – you don’t always have time to get to the buffet, or if you do it’s not always open or too busy to serve crew; if you don’t have something in your cabin to eat then you risk not eating at all! For me the crossing means 10 hours days every day, I can’t get through that on no calories. Well, I could, and I have in the past, but I’m determined to try and treat myself better this time.

Now if only I could find a way to get some more sleep, everything would be peaches and cream…

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Swept Away – At Sea – [09/19/2015]

Brooke-Shaden-photography-12 (2)As of yesterday we have officially left Alaska behind us; and it saw us out with a gale. Ketchikan was drenched in side-ways falling chilling rain, with wind too strong to keep an umbrella open and puddles across the roads deep enough that they were more like small lakes. I pity the Lumberjacks who’s show – I think – still had to go on in such weather.

After a true snafu with IPM and switchbacks and cancelled plans, I was perfectly content to collect lunch from the local saloon (they make the best clam chowder), and bring it back to the ship to enjoy in the comfort of the cabin. There is simply no point in braving weather like that longer than one has to.

So we are now on our final sea day back to Vancouver, from there we drop off the current back of guests and pick up those who will be joining us for the six day trek over to sunny hawai’i…something to which we are all very much looking forward (and the people who have IPM are already trying to beg borrow and steal a switch, not that anyone will be willing to trade a Honolulu overnight…but everyone always tries).

It was hard leaving Alaska this year, for one thing Amras and I have never seen out an Alaska season together; one of us has always been leaving at the end of the season, so that feels a little strange. Mostly good strange, but strange none the less. Moreover, this Alaska has given me a lot, and taken a lot and then given it back; I have more of an attachment to the land of rain and timber wolves than I sometimes really realize, and leaving it behind just at the time of year that I feel most comfortable there is a bit of a wrench. Plus, it’s a week of goodbyes, goodbye to the ports, good bye to our cruise director (who is one of the best I’ve ever worked with), goodbye to the last of the original Party Band from the beginning of the season…just so many goodbyes.

I feel…really sad today.

I know, me too…can’t put my finger on why just…is

I have no idea how this season has gone so fast. It feels like we just got here, and we’re already putting the Last Frontier to our rudder and heading for warmer climes.

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Blood Bank – At Sea – [09/14/2015]

readingI realized, when I entered the latest title in the file that I have started using to keep track, that I have read nearly 20 books so far this contract. Only two of those have I not completely finished – H is For Hawk – which I keep coming back and forth to, and Murder at 48 Below: True Stories of Crime in Alaska which is a typical souvenir ‘history’ book that reads kind of like a cheap dime novel…despite what it’s about, I can’t quite take it seriously.

But…15 books…in under three months.

Maybe Amras is right, maybe I do have a bit of a reading addiction. However, wise man that he is, he has learned to give me space when I’m buried in the page. I was tucked up with Stephen King’s Revival (weird book, not scary, just weird), and was nearing the end over lunch break…waiting for him to finish eating, when he had done so I dutifully put the book down.

You can keep reading hun, I’m sure you would rather be reading.

I have trained my former big brother well.

I’m saving Les Mis until the last month of my contract. Amras goes home at that point so it may be the perfect time to delve into post-revolutionary France in order to distract myself.

Deep down, I know that I am reading so much because I am escaping from something. I’m always a compulsive reader (there are worse addictions in life), but when I’m gobbling this many books at once, it usually means there’s something I’m trying to avoid thinking about. I know what it is, I know what’s riding piggyback in my subconscious, but it’s not something that’s in my control, so I don’t think about it. Or at least I pretend not to think about it. I read instead. A lot.

And I embroider.

Neverland is almost ready to take flight. I have nearly completed the actual cross-hatching, after which it will only be decorative stitches and such. I think I’ll leave the hands on big ben for last, there’s something final about sewing in the time. But there’s still a long way to go until then. I’ve long neglected posting photos, I really should fix that.

But really, life just continues on. People don’t really realize that my life – as National Geographic as it sometimes may be – is really just a life like any other.

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What Is a Hero? – Glacier Bay, Alaska – [09/11/2015]

heroLittle did she know she’d kissed a hero
Though he’d always been an angel in her eyes
Putting others first its true
That’s what heroes always do
And now he doesn’t need a pair of wings to fly

14 years later it’s still not mine to write about; but at the same time, once it’s been put back in front of my eyes, I can’t not say anything.

It’s hard to believe that it was fourteen years ago. It feels like yesterday. The day of infamy for a new generation, the day the world shook and changed and for a small stretch of time, we were all Americans – even me, who stands as one of the proudest Canadians of them all.

Like the song says – in a New York Minute, everything changed. The world changed, preconceptions fell to pieces like shattered glass and the innocence of most of North America broke all over again.

We’ve come a long way since then…or have we? Have we really?

The bloodshed has not stopped, the threats still loom and the world still lives in a constant state of looking over our shoulders, perhaps even more so than before.

We all have our ways that we remember today; I’m ashamed to say that this morning – for the first time in years – I forgot. I knew that something felt off in the air, something felt unsettled, disjointed, not quite put together properly. I was tense and twitchy and couldn’t seem to settle down; but I didn’t remember the date, not even when I typed it on the screen. It wasn’t until Amras came by the office looking for the quote I usually use to commemorate today that I drew in a breath and realized what it was I’d forgotten. Perhaps that’s a good thing, perhaps we should let it become just another day on the calendar, but that doesn’t seem right, any more than erasing Armistice Day from our collective minds and hearts would be right.

But just because we are so good at remembering does not mean that we are the greatest at honoring.

Those who were on those planes, who gave everything they had to stop the course of disaster – whether they succeeded or not – should not have died for nothing. Out of the smoldering embers of tragedy we were granted the chance to build something united and beautiful – but we didn’t cling to it, we didn’t take it. When the dust settled, we returned to the way things were, to a state of ‘us vs. them’, our lives and been changed, our innocence broken, but instead of remaining banded together and standing strong, we fell back to our comfort zones…resorting to more retaliation, more blood, more tragedy. We are – even now – caught in the midst of an international blood feud, and I sometimes wonder if we will ever find balance again.

They killed my friends!
Yes, so now you’re going to kill them, and then someone else will kill you, and on and on it will go until no one even remembers who [your friends] were, that’s how blood feuds work. Congratulations. ~ Polgara the Sorceress

So how do we combat a tide that’s so strong? How do you fight fear? How do you honor heroes not just remember them or avenge them?

By being a hero yourself.

Remember that heroism does not mean saving thousands of lives on a plane, it does not mean throwing yourself in front of a moving truck to save a child, it doesn’t have to be that big; heroism is in the little things. Donating to the foodbank after a disaster, being a hospital volunteer, giving blood, reading to the kids at the library; even something as small as giving a smile to a stranger on the street, tossing a coin into someone’s change jar. A million little things can make you a hero. If there is one thing that this day fourteen years ago should have taught us, it’s that heroism is not just in the big incredible things that make the news, but in the small things that follow afterwards. In the incredible way the human race can reach for the light in the depths of the dark.

Help each other. Care for each other. Share each other’s joys as well as each other’s miseries. Hold each other up instead of bringing each other down. Don’t just remember that people died, don’t remember the thirst for vengeance, remember the good. Let that be what you carry with you, let that be what you pass on.

We cannot predict the future, but we can realize that peace will only come when the world as a whole wants it so very much that they will stand for nothing else. In the meantime, remember how quickly things can change, remember how easily the universe can shift, and that someone who is just a normal every day person can get up one morning and become a hero.

Remember where you were, remember what happened…and remember that it’s not always the big things that change the world…the small, insignificant acts of individuals, can change the course of history, if we would just let them.

Be safe everyone.

 

 

 

 

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Timber! – Ketchikan, Alaska – [09/08/2015]

b4f639393f138fa838791b8b6ab26b5cKetchikan at the end of season rains…a lot; and when it’s not raining, it’s trying to rain. So we usually gravitate towards somewhere with some kind of shelter; and preferably something in the way of warm drinks.

In this case, despite being many seasons in Alaska, neither Amras or I had ever been to the Lumberjack Show…which is somewhat strange, as that’s what most people do in Ketchikan, at least once. Somehow though, we’d just never made it.

Our crew ID got us in at the door, and a few minutes wait got us coffee and popcorn. The seats are sheltered, and heated (to a certain extent), so we were out of the elements. The competitors in the show however, were at the mercy of the rain that occasionally came sluicing down as if someone in the clouds was turning on a shower.

The Lumberjack Show is technically a competition, and the lumberjacks who perform in it (lumberjacks, not loggers, as I’ve learned they are not the same thing), are athletes, athletes wielding souped-up power tools in some cases which is rather intimidating. They divide the audience into two teams – one cheers for the Dawson Creek ‘Canadian’ team and the other for the Stuart Mill local ‘American’ team. Ironically I ended up being designated to cheer for the American team – a fact which I tried hard to find amusing! In the spirit of all competition shows of this sort, you cheer for your team and you heckle the other…I tend to get a little too into these things, but our side of the stadium was just not as loud as the other unfortunately.

It’s a good show. It’s a very dangerous show to compete in, being as how they are throwing axes and wielding chainsaws; but it’s not the show itself I really find interesting, but the history behind it. It’s a sport now – who knew Timber Sports was a real thing? I didn’t know this I’m ashamed to say – but it started out as actual loggers honing real skills they would then use in the woods. The events the lumberjacks compete in are based off of those skills. The teams are real too, or at least they used to be – these days the participants all live in town, but when the actual mill camp existed, its rival was the Dawson Creek Mill over on my side of the border.

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Surprise! – Glacier Bay, Alaska – [09/11/2015]

surpriseDepartmental meetings are a very serious business, or at least they can be. Particularly when one is called in the middle of the week and everyone is being very tight-lipped about it. Not even me, who usually can milk information out of thin air, could not get a hint as to what this meeting was about; the whole department was somewhat on edge when we filed into the meeting room this morning and sat, as quietly as possible, waiting to see what the very serious looking management team in front of us was going to say.

Theories ranged from the inevitable “we’re all getting fired” to the much more logical “it’s the end of Alaska season, we have to have a prep meeting”…but still, no one knew, and those stony silent faces were giving nothing away.

Then of course, two people were late, which increased the tension, and led to a general consensus of “if it wasn’t a bad meeting before, it certainly is now”.

Finally our supervisor clears his throat and announces,

Thank you all for coming, as you know it’s the end of the Alaska season and there are a couple of things that have been concerning us that we think we should address…

And our CD picks up on that and continues with

Some of you have been here for a while, some of you are brand new so today seemed like a good day to….

And she stops, and suddenly a huge smile breaks across her face.

THROW YOU A PARTY!!! So if you’ll just all follow us upstairs.

And they did just that. We walked into the VIP section of the dining room to a full breakfast buffet with mimosas and everything. I mean how often does management not only throw you a surprise party, but let you out of work for however long it takes to attend!

I…love my job.

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Ice Escapades – Glacier Bay, Alaska – [09/15/2015]

One doeice_queen_by_enchantedwhispers-d5nybtss not know the meaning of the world “cold” until one jumps headlong into an unheated outdoor pool, under a sky that is threatening snow (actually I swear it was snowing already), with a bucket of ice thrown in the pool for good measure…

In front of a Glacier…

It’s the last Glacier Bay of the season, and so our show host decided she wanted as many people from the team as possible to come and bid a very icy farewell to this most scenic of scenic cruises. Only four of us showed up, one of whom was our cruise director – who, much like me, was on the verge of chickening out long before we got in the water. Just standing on the edge of the pool was cold enough!

The aft deck pool is one of those double-layer deals, where there’s a tiled inlay around the pool inside the pool ledge, the water over that inlay only comes up to your ankles. We looked at that little slick of water and thought that something that shallow at least couldn’t’ be so bad…and then stepped down into it to walk up to the edge of the proper pool.

Freya but that’ was cold…

I remember when I was a kid trying to go wading in the bay across the street from my house, from there comes my arrogant claim of “I’m Canadian, if you can dip your toe in the water and your ankle doesn’t hurt? It ain’t cold”. Well this was that kind of cold. Standing there up to the ankles in icy water, you could feel the pain jolt up from the soles of your feet to your calves, cold pain, the kind of cold that generates the saying “so cold it hurts”. I looked at the CD standing next to me, and she looked at me, we watch everyone else jump and we’re still standing there shivering and on the verge of turning back, but the more people that go in the more obvious it is that we haven’t (more her than me, the CD is more known than the librarian obviously). So she reaches out, takes me by the hand and says

Okay, we’ll go in together. Ready?

No!

1…2….

SPLASH!

I don’t think I’ve ever been that cold. So cold that it shocks the system and you almost can’t find your way back up again, so cold it’s disorienting. But I managed to get back to the edge with startling speed, driven probably by the ice-monster that felt like it was trying to hold me back. One guest managed to stay in a comparatively long time, and I’m sure if the rest of us had stuck it out longer our bodies might have adjusted, but 4 seconds was enough for most of us.

Out of the pool, scramble for the towels, shiver for the picture…and then inside as fast as possible.

This! This is an example of how m-m-much I love you guys!

We l-l-l-o-ov-e you t-t-t-oo ma’am

Okay…hot shower time…

And we all went our separate ways to our different room and our waiting scalding hot showers.

Honestly, the things I do for this job!

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One Down…Three to Go – Skagway, Alaska – [09/10/2015]

painterAnd so we enter the weeks of “last”…last salmon bake, last Tracy’s crab shack, or in today’s case…last Skagway.

It’s only one tiny little street, mostly tourist shops and jewelry stores, and one IGA grocery store whose shelves get more and more bare as the season gets on – but I like Skagway. They have amazing cupcakes and good ice cream, and there’s no other show in the world quite like the ages old “Days of ‘98” (it’s mostly true!).

But all good things must come to and end, and just Days of ’98 is wrapping up it’s several hundredth season (no I’m not exaggerating), we’re wrapping up our calls here for the rest of the season. Leaving the little town tucked in the valley to the locals and the wildlife. We’re one of the last ships to call here, and it was nice to have the town basically to ourselves. This time of year the ports start feeling less like tourist traps and more like real places. The wooden sidewalks have enough space to walk on, and the Red Onion Saloon actually has seats avaialble at the bar.

Having been meaning to do it for weeks now, and not having another chance, we called up the Old Time Photo Studio in town and spent a giggly twenty or so minutes dressing up in gold-rush costumes for the camera. Some of the pictures even turned out, others require a fair bit of editing, but that’s so not the point of doing something like that. It had been brought to my notice that I didn’t really have any photos from this contract so far, so maybe this will go a small ways towards starting to fix that.

We made our way through the ever present misty rain to the Skagway Brewery for lunch (mmm…popcorn shrimp) and then just wandered, we ultimately ended up in the Red Onion, to say goodbye to one of the bartenders who has become good friends with Amras over the course of two seasons. She actually seemed genuinely sad to see us go…end of season can get a bit teary eyed sometimes.

We said farewell to the cast of the Days of ’98 show, and Amras even gifted them a bottle of champagne.

Took a quick run through the local IGA to pick up supplies – the Trans-Pacific is, after all, waiting for us in just a week’s time.

Then there was just time to run back to the ship for work and rehearsal, then back out for dinner and then the mad dash back home to make it for all aboard (well, we were no where near being late, but we were cutting it fine for our respective work times).

And that was it, no more skagway…I do hope that whatever fell out of my pocket on the run back to the ship was just change…guess I might find out next year!

 

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Magic In The Stars – At Sea – [09/08/2015]

NorthernLIghtsSome things are even beyond a once in a lifetime experience. Once, what feels like a long time ago, I lay on my back on the wooden planking of the aft deck and stared up at the most beautiful full moon that seemed to swallow the sky…I never thought I would get that feeling again; and then suddenly tonight, there was something even more incredible.

Five years at sea, and at least three seasons in Alaska – I have never been able to see the Northern Lights. Never far enough north, never a clear enough night, or just always working.

Last night Amras and I were finishing packing up from the set in the upstairs lounge and just as he was about to shoulder his bass and head downstairs, one of the guest entertainers comes almost running through the door

Guys! The northern lights are huge tonight! Get out there!

And we look at each other for all of a split second, drop karaoke books, instruments and all manner of other things and head straight out and up to the observation deck.

You’re going to be a bit cold but…

So what…come on!

Almost not knowing what I’m looking for my first reaction is that I didn’t see anything…and it’s true, I didn’t…because you need extremely low light pollution for the aurora to show its colours…and until we actually climbed the stairs and turned the corner into the observation deck itself (where there are no lights) all I saw was black..

I don’t see…

Um…hello…look there…

Oh…my…god…

Nature’s fireworks; miles wide, fluctuating and shifting like living jewels blazed across the throat of the sky. I have never seen anything like it. I just stood and stared up, not caring about the cold, not caring about anything, just being swept away on that ever changing river of stars

Welcome to the northern lights hun

It’s just its…I…

It’s true that out here we live a national geographic life. We see things that others can only dream of. In the middle of the ocean, we are the only human-driven light, and the stars arch above us so many diamonds; you couldn’t possibly count them. Standing there, tucked into Amras’ side in an attempt to keep warm, I have never felt smaller or more insignificant, and yet more oddly reassured. Alaska has a habit of throwing big life-changing moments at me, it knocks me down and then builds me back up again…and sometimes, reminds me that under all the petty day to day concerns…there are sometimes things so incredibly breathtakingly beautiful.

Standing there, looking up at something like that…nothing – not red tape, not timing, not petty disagreements or bitter arguments – matters at all…

What matters in moments like that, are the sudden and breathtaking reminder that there is still magic in the world…

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Still Solitary – Ketchikan, Alaska – [09/03/2015]

2-attractivepeoplereading-Michelle-WilliamsDay 2…

I was supposed to be released today I suspect, but my temperature spiked overnight (which I don’t know how much it really did, as it was 2am and I was obviously under the covers and the room was warm, but numbers are numbers)…so I’m in for another day.

I’m trying to think of isolation as an enforced vacation, but the truth is I’m terribly bored. My friends and colleagues have been brilliant about checking in on me, and my boss is watching the library while I’m away, but I feel like I’m being paid to do a job that I’m currently unable to do, and that makes it difficult to relax. That said, medical did say I would be off work for at least two days so maybe I shouldn’t be surprised.

The thing about being isolated actually *in* the infirmary as opposed to your own cabin (which isn’t possible for me as I have a roommate), is that you really truly are isolated. If you’re stuck in your own room on A-deck, conceivably people can at least come and talk to you through the door, or from the other side of the threshold. Here? The infirmary rooms are in the back of medical, and they don’t let anybody back here. The only contact I have with the world of the rest of the ship is the phone line, and the doctor when she comes in to check on me twice a day.

I’m making a point of getting out of bed and dressed and such, so that I’m still in some kind of a routine; and my Mum is right, you feel better if you get up and “do” something. Even if that something is just getting yourself out of bed and moving around.

The annoying thing is that aside from a bit of a sore throat (my glands are still up), I feel fine. This is nothing more than a nasty cold that’s gotten away from me. When I first got checked they tested me for the flu (obviously), but I’m assuming those tests came back negative as they didn’t tell me that I in fact have the flu. Then again, perhaps they just forgot to tell me, who knows.

So I’ve asked Amras to bring up my copy of Les Mis, figuring that if there were ever a time for me to start reading something epic perhaps this is it, when I have little else to do. In the meantime, I’m making good progress on Neverland (yup, I have my embroidery in here with me), and watching more television than I would normally do in a week…

Someone come let me out?

Posted in Alaska, Below the waterline, Northern Exposure 2015, Summer Contracts | 1 Comment