{"id":1451,"date":"2012-06-28T11:38:18","date_gmt":"2012-06-28T19:38:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.wordpress.com\/?p=1451"},"modified":"2012-06-28T11:38:18","modified_gmt":"2012-06-28T19:38:18","slug":"all-little-children-grow-up-ketchikan-06142012","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/?p=1451","title":{"rendered":"All Little Children Grow Up\u2026. \u2013 Ketchikan \u2013 [06\/14\/2012]"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cYou can\u2019\"\"<\/a>t do this forever\u201d<\/p>\n

I shrug as I say it to passenger after passenger, usually in response to their queries about what I do on land, or what I\u2019ll do when I decide to settle down. The truth is though; I try not to think about it. It is true \u2013 this career comes with an expiration date, eventually the sheer grind, pressure and more-over the loneliness, the inability to connect to anyone for long because you\u2019re constantly moving, does get to you.<\/p>\n

Eventually, circumstances force you to grow up. To put your feet on dry land and look reality in the eye.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s still a ways off for me, and so it\u2019s always a wrench when someone close to me \u2013 particularly when it\u2019s a Family member, of which I have so few \u2013 decides they\u2019re done, and chooses to make the move to shore-side. Because as much as you\u2019re thrilled for them (and I am! And the happiness is so genuine that it\u2019s hard to express), you worry that you\u2019ll never see them again, that they\u2019ll walk out of your life the way so many others have in the past. Suddenly the time you have left in a contract with someone takes on a whole new meaning, a whole new importance, and every moment you have with that person gets as stretched as it can, even if you\u2019re saying nothing at all. Even if you feel stupid, because you know you have other things to do that are more important than sitting around looking at photographs and sipping coca-cola and looking each other up on google just for the hell of it. But at that split second, nothing seems more important.<\/p>\n

People ask me all the time how I manage this job with its constant farewells, with the constant sense of saying \u201cgoodbye\u201d in so many different ways and so many different languages\u2026I think if it weren\u2019t for the fact that I have total faith in my important friendships, even the ones that I have no idea when I\u2019ll see in the flesh again, and the fact that in some ways I\u2019m just as constantly saying \u201chello\u201d\u2026if it weren\u2019t for that I think I\u2019d grow up a lot faster\u2026<\/p>\n

But, like Peter Pan\u2026I\u2019m just not ready yet.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cYou can\u2019t do this forever\u201d I shrug as I say it to passenger after passenger, usually in response to their queries about what I do on land, or what I\u2019ll do when I decide to settle down. The truth is … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3,4,17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1451","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-alaska","category-below-the-waterline","category-reflections-below-the-waterline"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3GtNE-np","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1451","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1451"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1451\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1451"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1451"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1451"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}