{"id":2700,"date":"2013-10-28T21:18:27","date_gmt":"2013-10-29T05:18:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/?p=2700"},"modified":"2013-10-28T21:18:27","modified_gmt":"2013-10-29T05:18:27","slug":"kitten-on-the-ceiling-at-sea-10262013","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/?p=2700","title":{"rendered":"Kitten on the Ceiling \u2013 At Sea \u2013 [10\/26\/2013]"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\"OntheCeiling\"<\/a>Every word of every story,
\nEvery star in every sky
\nEvery corner of creation lives to testify\u2026<\/i><\/p>\n

Okay\u2026where to start\u2026.<\/p>\n

The last day of the cruise is always a bit chaotic, the last day of a crossing? Well that\u2019s that wonderful kind of chaos that brings with it at least a certain amount of relief because the day goes quickly and the work goes fast and at the end? Hey at least it\u2019s over!<\/p>\n

Today though, had an extra element added to it that I honestly didn\u2019t fully expect. I kind of hoped for it, but I didn\u2019t expect it. Y\u2019see, somewhere in the middle of the afternoon my phone rang \u2013 since I was half-way across the library with my head in an overstock cupboard I missed the call, but there are only two people who call me and of the two on the final day it\u2019s most likely to be my boss.\u00a0 Therefore, I picked up the phone and called down the office; and was rather surprise when my brother answered.<\/p>\n

Hey Sis\u2026<\/i><\/p>\n

What? What are you doing answering the office phone?<\/i><\/p>\n

I\u2019m just the only one here\u2026oh! By the way, I have the running order for tonight\u2019s talent showcase.<\/i><\/p>\n

Unwillingly I feel my heart do that tiny little flip it usually does when I\u2019m waiting to hear back from an audition. The talent showcase has been something of a bone of contention in the department recently, having been cancelled once and rescheduled in three different places, tonight\u2019s set was supposed to cover the last of it. Personally, I\u2019d already been cut from the running order twice in two different contexts, there had been a brief mention of my participating into tonight\u2019s set, but it hadn\u2019t been actually officially decided yet. \u00a0I tucked the phone more firmly against my shoulder.<\/p>\n

And?<\/i><\/p>\n

Well, we\u2019ve got that shy little pianist opening, then Alasse is doing Dream a Little Dream with the band, then we\u2019ve got two other guests and then you\u2019re doing Testify with the band and then\u2026<\/i><\/p>\n

And my brain kind of kicks into catch-up mode so I don\u2019t even really hear<\/i> the rest of the lineup.<\/p>\n

Whoa, back up you said \u2018with the band\u2019, I only gave you a piano chart big brother\u2026<\/i><\/p>\n

Yeah, there might be some guitar and bass in there now\u2026<\/i><\/p>\n

You arranged my chart?<\/i><\/p>\n

Maybe<\/i>\u2026it\u2019ll be really light\u2026<\/i><\/p>\n

I love you big brother\u2026<\/i><\/p>\n

Love you too Sis\u2026<\/i><\/p>\n

Those of you who know me even remotely well know that me before a performance is the ultimate state of nerves. It\u2019s been that way ever since I started performing at all, it doesn\u2019t matter at all what I\u2019m performing in<\/i> it or whether it\u2019s professional or not I lose<\/i> it. Probably the best thing Amras could have done was to wait as long as he did to tell me, because he knows me well enough to know that if he told me in the middle of the afternoon (and told me fast, like taking off a band-aid) when I was already going to be really busy and distracted I wouldn\u2019t have time<\/i> to freak out.<\/p>\n

This was really very similar to my state of mind on the flagship this past season when I was called up to perform with the cruise director. Except this time, the challenging thing wasn\u2019t that I hadn\u2019t performed the chart live, it wasn\u2019t that I didn\u2019t know the arrangement, it was that these were my boys<\/i>, I care<\/i> about this band \u2013 I could care less about letting myself down, I\u2019m used to being my own worst critic, but letting them<\/i> down? Letting my brother down after he put himself on the line to get me up there in the first place? \u00a0Terrifying concept. \u00a0Plus, this is just a talent show, it\u2019s been crazy-last-minute-organized and there\u2019s no time for a single rehearsal. I\u2019m professional enough to work without a rehearsal, but still the nerves would have appreciated one.<\/p>\n

By the time I got the last of the returns cleared off my desk (200 returns cleared, sorted and restocked in under 45 minutes, thank goddess<\/i> for my sister-in-law\u2019s help!) I had perhaps 15 minutes to change and attempt to warm up and try not<\/i> to be sick\u2026and to ask myself yet again why I do this to myself. My roomie took one look at me and shrugged<\/p>\n

I know why.<\/i><\/p>\n

Why then?<\/i><\/p>\n

Because you love it\u2026<\/i><\/p>\n

Shaddup\u2026<\/i><\/p>\n

I then proceeded to spend the next ten minutes sitting with an equally nervous (though hiding it much better damn her French calm) Alasse, sipping at ice water and trying to remind myself precisely WHY I love doing this. Then, miraculously, as it always does, the calm came. It kind of wraps me in a blanket for the duration of the journey to the stage and the first few notes, before the nerves disappear. I suppose you could call it a very specific kind of shock.<\/p>\n

For the first time in forever, I wasn\u2019t actually fine the moment I walked on stage. That\u2019s how my nerves usually work, but this time it took me to the first chorus, because I wasn\u2019t sure of the low notes \u2013 the speed kicked off slower than I\u2019d intended (which I can\u2019t<\/i> blame the band for as they\u2019d never even heard the song or seen the chart and, as it turns out, were working from<\/i> the piano music I\u2019d given Amras so they were actually making the whole thing up on the spot\u2026have I mentioned that my boys are AMAZING? \u2018cause they are) which meant I couldn\u2019t bounce off the notes that are technically out of my range \u2013 but by the time the intro was over my nerves settled, and then I heard something I didn\u2019t expect\u2026which I called Amras out on afterwards.<\/p>\n

He sang with me.<\/p>\n

You didn\u2019t warn me you were going to give me back up vocals!<\/i><\/p>\n

Well you did ask for them<\/i><\/p>\n

Yeah, but I didn\u2019t know you were actually going to DO it<\/i><\/p>\n

Neither did I\u2026just worked out that way.<\/i><\/p>\n

Was. Amazing.<\/p>\n

The only time I\u2019ve ever sung with Amras is on the live karaoke nights when he backs me for Mamma Mia, but that\u2019s not exactly the same thing. There is nothing like doing something brand new and knowing, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the people behind you have your back. If I had missed something, if I\u2019d screwed up a cue or missed a key change, that band would follow me. Mostly because my big brother loves me and occasionally spoils me rotten (and he knows that, and I\u2019ve told him so to his face).<\/p>\n

All of this reminded me \u2013 once again \u2013 why it is I do this. Still, after all this time, despite the hell I put myself through every performance, despite the fact that I am always going to be my own worst critic \u2013 and sometimes\u00a0 – like this \u2013 it\u2019s true that the charge is a little bit less than usual, but it\u2019s always there. It never actually leaves. When I walked down off that stage, despite the fact that I knew it wasn\u2019t my best (but was far from my worst) my feet were a good bit off the metaphorical floor. My best performance? Far from it. One of my most emotionally gratifying? Quite possibly.<\/p>\n

All of us were giggling insanely at pretty much nothing and while the room emptied out fast, there were a few of the participants who hung around to thank the band, including one of the teens who had played the drums and apparently had only been on stage maybe once before. The three of us just looked at him, finally Amras told him<\/p>\n

You did well; seriously\u2026it\u2019s just a matter of experience man.<\/i><\/p>\n

To which I threw an arm around Alasse\u2019s shoulders and added<\/p>\n

Best drug in the world\u2026and hey, it\u2019s free!<\/i><\/p>\n

Oh, and then of course there was the participant that could actually play<\/i> guitar \u2013 as in extremely well, and he and Amras were totally engrossed in shop talk for a while, until he noticed me sitting there on a table, swinging my legs like a little kid, and called me over\u2026<\/p>\n

Hey Sis! Good job. Yeah, so this is my adopted little sister, who I love very very much and am very proud of right now.<\/i><\/p>\n

Once the guests had gone, we still had an hour to go before the beginning of the next \u2018normal\u2019 set, and with all three of us on post-performance adrenaline (yes, it\u2019s a very real thing), and feeling like we had earned<\/i> a celebration after all the craziness that went into getting this thing off the ground (trust me, it was an effort on all counts) \u2013 we kind of stood around for a few minutes trying to decide where<\/i> we wanted to go.<\/p>\n

Top Deck Lounge?<\/i><\/p>\n

Honey, we can\u2019t afford the Top Deck<\/i><\/p>\n

I can\u2026saki\u2019s on me\u2026<\/i><\/p>\n

Okay then, top deck it is\u2026<\/i><\/p>\n

Take three performers who are all on post-show adrenaline, who also happen to be family, who haven\u2019t really had much time to really see each other over what has been a very<\/i> hectic and stressful cruise, put them in the best bar on the ship which happens to be pretty much empty, in the best seats in the house\u2026and there is a very specific kind of madness that will soon take over \u2013 even without the addition of alcohol.<\/p>\n

Why is it my turn to be gauche tonight?<\/i><\/p>\n

Because you\u2019re the one who\u2019s glass I overfilled!<\/i><\/p>\n

You totally did that on purpose!<\/i><\/p>\n

Did not!<\/i><\/p>\n

Did too!<\/i><\/p>\n

Oh and of course there was the inevitable:<\/p>\n

By the way Sis, YOU doing a song with God in it? I was going over the lyrics and was like\u2026whoa\u2026*Shaughnessy* is doing this?<\/i><\/p>\n

What can I say? I do it damn well\u2026<\/i><\/p>\n

And in the back of my mind all I can hear is the line from A Chorus Line<\/i><\/p>\n

You bet I\u2019m good! I\u2019m so damn good I can [sing] any way you want me to!<\/i><\/p>\n

Of course, eventually we did have to make our way back down to the mid-ship lounge for the set \u2013 partially because I\u2019d promised my roomie I\u2019d meet her there since it was her last night on board. As it turned out, by the end of the night we were almost the only ones there (well almost, there were two or three guests in the booths at the back who were just listening and not much else), and the three of us were hard pressed to leave<\/i> the dance floor (when one of us tried, the other two would grab her by the wrist and pull her back \u2013 it was that kind of night). This lead to something happening that I had never really seen before, nor do I really think I\u2019ll see it again.<\/p>\n

Amras kicked off an upbeat for the last song, and Lark points to the three of us, tells us this one is for us and that we now have <\/i>to dance\u2026and then proceeds to actually join us on the dance floor. That part wasn\u2019t that unusual, Lark does that frequently to try and get the crowd going.<\/p>\n

What was unusual is that the rest of the band followed her. Even Amras came to the edge of the stage, as far as the cord on his bass would allow. The only two people left on<\/i> the stage were the drummer and the keys player. We literally had the band dancing with us.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 And you\u2019d better knock. Knock. Knock on wood.<\/i><\/p>\n

In case this hasn\u2019t become clear:<\/p>\n

From the first note to the last dance to the last slice of probably-too-cold-but-what-the-heck-we\u2019re-starving pizza (as my roomie said \u2018just one pizza? For the three of you? When you\u2019re like this? Is that going to be ENOUGH?\u2019) on the back deck\u2026<\/p>\n

Really. Good. Night.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0Every word of every story, Every star in every sky Every corner of creation lives to testify\u2026 Okay\u2026where to start\u2026. The last day of the cruise is always a bit chaotic, the last day of a crossing? Well that\u2019s that … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[23,48,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2700","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cat-chronicles","category-med-2013","category-performances"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3GtNE-Hy","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2700","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2700"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2700\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2702,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2700\/revisions\/2702"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2700"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2700"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2700"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}