{"id":2721,"date":"2013-11-09T08:46:46","date_gmt":"2013-11-09T16:46:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/?p=2721"},"modified":"2013-11-09T08:50:18","modified_gmt":"2013-11-09T16:50:18","slug":"decisions-and-delights-at-sea-11062013","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/?p=2721","title":{"rendered":"Decisions and Delights \u2013 At Sea \u2013 [11\/06\/2013]"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"sv2006b-waterlily30x15\"<\/a>Have been unavoidably detained by the world. Expect us when you see us”. ~ Stardust<\/i><\/p>\n

There\u2019s been a decision on the edge of my mind for a long time now, nearly since I arrived here. Since the first morning I woke up without circles under my eyes and worry in the pit of my stomach. Since the first night I smiled at the band and they smiled back. Since the first beer I cheers with in the OB while the music blared and the sparse crowd chattered\u2026never once feeling out of place, or odd, or unwelcomed.<\/p>\n

Somewhere a long time ago, I made up my mind.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m leaving the flagship.<\/p>\n

Chill, it\u2019s not forever. It\u2019s just for the Grand Voyage, and even then, Toffy will only change me over if she can land me on either the contract I\u2019ve requested (which is going to be a swing for her as it requires a lot of shuffling, but she also knows how much I want it) or if she spies something equally amazing for me. But she and I had a long, long discussion about it today, in which I told her that I was pretty sure I wanted to move on, but that I was afraid to because of the work I\u2019ve put in to staying<\/i> on the flagship, to being \u2018that\u2019 girl, and she reminded me that giving it up would be a temporary thing, that if I turn it down I could get it back sometime in the future.<\/p>\n

I suddenly remembered that the best cruise director in the fleet has turned down the flagship no less than 8 times. Why? Because he doesn\u2019t want the stress and the pressure of working her. Yet no one questions that he is<\/i> the best, no one holds that decision against him.<\/p>\n

If he can do it, so can I.<\/p>\n

I know there are some who would wonder why I would do such a thing. There are reasons, rather a lot of them really. The biggest of them is this: I\u2019m tired. Or rather, I was. I didn\u2019t realize just how tired I was until I wasn\u2019t<\/i>. The only exhaustion I\u2019ve felt on this contract has been the sheer physical kind that comes with any kind of job. Gone are the dark circles and constant knots that I\u2019ve grown used to from working the Grands in and out. I go out at night here, I have friends \u2013 I have enough friends that there is actually talk of a proper goodbye party, something I\u2019ve never<\/i> had before \u2013 I have an actual life outside of the office. I\u2019ve remembered what it\u2019s like to have a world that isn\u2019t just me, my books and my embroidery needle. And I want to keep remembering that.<\/p>\n

There are places out there I haven\u2019t seen yet. Yes, I\u2019ve seen amazing things, I\u2019ve done<\/i> amazing things, but there\u2019s more<\/i> that I haven\u2019t<\/i>, and being locked into what is essentially the same run every season is not going to get me there. I want to do<\/i> things. I want to see Boston, and New York, and Charlottetown, and Quebec and Scotland and Iceland and Amsterdam and\u2026and\u2026and\u2026<\/p>\n

It\u2019s such a long list, it\u2019s such a damn<\/i> long list and\u2026if I don\u2019t break out of the wonderful rut I\u2019ve been in, that list is just going to sit there\u2026<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a big ol\u2019 world out there, and I really want to go take a look at it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Have been unavoidably detained by the world. Expect us when you see us”. ~ Stardust There\u2019s been a decision on the edge of my mind for a long time now, nearly since I arrived here. Since the first morning I … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4,48,17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2721","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-below-the-waterline","category-med-2013","category-reflections-below-the-waterline"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3GtNE-HT","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2721","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2721"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2721\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2725,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2721\/revisions\/2725"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2721"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2721"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2721"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}