{"id":2768,"date":"2013-11-30T12:08:35","date_gmt":"2013-11-30T20:08:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/?p=2768"},"modified":"2013-12-10T11:19:59","modified_gmt":"2013-12-10T19:19:59","slug":"two-worlds-one-family-victoria-11292013","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/?p=2768","title":{"rendered":"Two Worlds, One Family \u2013 Victoria \u2013 [11\/29\/2013]"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Lonely_Christmas_by_Fantasize_Me_R93\"<\/a>Put your faith in what you most believe in
\nTwo worlds one family
\nTrust your heart, let fate decide
\nTo guide these lives we see\u2026<\/i><\/p>\n

Sometimes it\u2019s as though I\u2019m two different people. And I don\u2019t mean that in the sense of there\u2019s ship-side me and shore-side me, it\u2019s not a line that that differentiated. This\u2026is something else.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s the daytime me, who\u2019s genuinely happy to be home, who takes an immense amount of joy in being in her own place, in her own space, with her own solitude. Who bakes cookies and peach pie and laughs at Christmas movies with her family and takes an abnormal amount of pride in finally being tall enough to reach the hooks to hang up the Christmas pictures so that she can actually be of some help to her mother.<\/p>\n

And then there\u2019s the other me\u2026who is so desperately lonely for the shipboard family she left behind, for the routine she got used to, that she knew never lasts forever\u2026<\/p>\n

That\u2019s the thing with ships you see. Sometimes it\u2019s easier to have a contract that\u2019s hard, because then you\u2019re just 100% happy to be out of there. You don\u2019t really think about who you left behind because you didn\u2019t really get close to anyone in the first place. But when one of those contract comes that gets behind your walls, where everything goes fantastically right<\/i>, and you have to think really hard to remember anything bad<\/i> about it, and even the bad parts tie into good parts and end up not counting\u2026those are the ones that are hard to leave. Those are the ones that you come home, and you find yourself staying up late and wondering if they miss you at all, because you miss them.<\/p>\n

You miss sitting in the front row of the mid-ship lounge every night, you miss the taste of white zinfandel after a long nightshift \u2013 and even though you have a bottle in the fridge at home, you somehow don\u2019t have the heart to crack it, and you can\u2019t really explain to anyone why. You miss laughter over the dinner table as you swapped stories with your roommate, you miss waking up in the morning and realizing that you were in the country you used to dream of, you miss giggling on the way to the officers bar at 6:45 every other night, and wondering how the mighty have fallen that you \u2013 who never drank at all \u2013 now can drink beer out of the bottle.<\/p>\n

You miss your band, you miss your boys, miss them randomly inserting Christmas carols into solos, miss helping your brother lug his gear home at the end of the night, miss Lark\u2019s smile from the bandstand as she silently asks you why you\u2019re still there when you know damn well you should be asleep.<\/p>\n

And it\u2019s not that you\u2019re not happy to be home. You\u2019re always happy to be home. It\u2019s just that you feel split between two homes at once, and that\u2019s never easy to deal with. And thankfully you have insanely understanding parents\u2026but that doesn\u2019t always make a difference to the fact that you have moments of feeling foolish\u2026<\/p>\n

And lost in the twilight between your two worlds\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Put your faith in what you most believe in Two worlds one family Trust your heart, let fate decide To guide these lives we see\u2026 Sometimes it\u2019s as though I\u2019m two different people. And I don\u2019t mean that in the … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4,17,21],"tags":[71,68,69,70,45],"class_list":["post-2768","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-below-the-waterline","category-reflections-below-the-waterline","category-vacation","tag-in-between-contracts","tag-insomnia","tag-lonely","tag-reflections","tag-vacation-2"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3GtNE-IE","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2768","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2768"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2768\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2770,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2768\/revisions\/2770"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2768"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2768"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2768"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}