{"id":344,"date":"2011-07-25T16:28:33","date_gmt":"2011-07-25T23:28:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.wordpress.com\/?p=344"},"modified":"2011-07-25T16:28:33","modified_gmt":"2011-07-25T23:28:33","slug":"mariah-at-sea-07222011","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/?p=344","title":{"rendered":"Mariah – At Sea [07\/22\/2011]"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>\u00a0~ Out here they got a name for rain, for wind and fire only, but when you\u2019re lost and all alone, there ain\u2019t no word but lonely\u2026~<\/em><\/p>\n

I hinted months ago when I talked about the concept of ship-side single, about how being lonely can make you do foolish things, how we sometimes reach out to unlikely people just to feel \u2018here\u201d. But the loneliness that strikes when you live shipside is a different kind than most will experience. You\u2019re around people, constantly, all day, every day. You\u2019re always smiling, but you don\u2019t know anyone\u2026and somehow, the bigger the ship, the lonelier you can get.<\/p>\n

I was extremely lucky; my first ship was a family. As my best friend shore-side is prone to saying \u201cwe had each others backs, and fronts, and sides\u201d \u2013 I\u2019ve been lucky since then, most of my ships have been like that, but somehow this ship\u2026I don\u2019t feel connected to anyone. Not really. Perhaps it\u2019s because I go home once a week, so I never fully separate from<\/em> home. Or perhaps it\u2019s just the size of the ship, and the length of the cruises \u2013 seven day cruises are a rough haul, because you really don\u2019t have time to get to know anyone before they\u2019ve just gone. Even the service staff on the coffee bar rotates once a week, so you don\u2019t even have the same server twice.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a lonely contract this. And with all these charters going on, it\u2019s been a rough one. I don\u2019t love my job any less as a result, I adore<\/strong> my job, and most everything that goes with it\u2026I just\u2026 I just find myself feeling this one a bit more than usual. I find myself more and more craving the moments when I can walk off the ship and wrap myself up in the world that\u2019s grounded, the people I\u2019m still connected to. Where my bartender pelts down the road and sweeps me up in a hug before I even get into the club. When I can hear my dad\u2019s laugh, see my mom\u2019s smile. When I can wrap my arms around my best friend and pretend like I\u2019m never going to let go\u2026.before getting back on my \u201cother\u201d home and setting about living with strangers for another week.<\/p>\n

Morose and poetic, that\u2019s me\u2026<\/p>\n

It could just as easily be the weather, or the places we\u2019re going. Alaska \u2013 as I\u2019ve mentioned before \u2013 has a way of making you feel very, very small, and a way of making you very aware of just how\u2026much humankind uses up without giving back. Alaska somehow makes you think too much, and if you\u2019re not one of those crewmembers who takes refuge in the various ways of just making those thoughts go away\u2026well\u2026<\/p>\n

Paint Your Wagon<\/em> was set in California, during the gold rush. It was one of those movies that I saw as a kid and loved but didn\u2019t remotely understand. I fell in love with the soundtrack, and for a long time I sang They Call the Wind Mariah <\/em>as an audition piece, even had it transposed to a woman\u2019s key. I didn\u2019t understand it, I just liked to sing it. Now, though, somehow, this week, this moment, I get it\u2026 \u201cIt can be a bloody hell up here, what with the bloody rain, and the bloody loneliness, and that bloody, bloody wind\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Up here, you can see why they\u2019d still have a name for rain, for wind and fire only\u2026.and when the wind blows at just the right angle down from the mountains, it really does<\/em> sound like folks was up there dyin\u2019\u2026<\/p>\n

Only in Alaska\u2026can you still hear the wind they call Mariah\u2026.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0~ Out here they got a name for rain, for wind and fire only, but when you\u2019re lost and all alone, there ain\u2019t no word but lonely\u2026~ I hinted months ago when I talked about the concept of ship-side single, … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-344","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-alaska","category-below-the-waterline"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3GtNE-5y","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/344","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=344"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/344\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=344"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=344"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=344"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}