{"id":4238,"date":"2016-05-18T02:21:46","date_gmt":"2016-05-18T09:21:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/?p=4238"},"modified":"2016-05-18T02:21:46","modified_gmt":"2016-05-18T09:21:46","slug":"hey-look-kristiensand-norway-05182016","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/?p=4238","title":{"rendered":"Hey Look \u2013 Kristiensand, Norway \u2013 [05\/18\/2016]"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"84491859a62b542500ca50a28bae3cf5\"Hey look no crying
\nThough she has one foot out the door
\nI should be crying, it ought to hurt a little more
\nI should resent it, try to prevent it
\nWhatever for?
\nHey look no cryin\u2019, just good bye..
\nI\u2019m letting go\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

~Or<\/p>\n

In that last dance of chances
\nWe shall know each other’s minds.
\nWe shall part with our regrets
\nWhen the tie no longer binds.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

– Robin Hobb<\/em><\/p>\n

When I first came to ships, what feels like a lot longer ago than it actually was, I was scared and confused, and a lot younger in a lot of ways that are not remotely chronological than I am now. The contract was a blur, and I remember little of it, except one strong hand that held onto mine and kept me steady. A few years later that hand let go\u2026and I thought I couldn\u2019t stand without that support. I lost it, I spiralled, but then \u2013 to my own amazement, I caught myself\u2026I accepted the silence\u2026I started to move forward, but the door\u2026the door was always held open, and in some ways as long as there is hope there is no closure\u2026if a part of you is looking back, it makes it difficult to move on\u2026<\/p>\n

Some ties, you think will never fray, you want to believe that, you need to, for whatever reason\u2026some wounds you think will never heal. Some never do. But some\u2026some surprise you.<\/p>\n

It seems so very long ago now, so many memories, so many years passed under long forgotten bridges. And then one day, when you shout into the void to demand an answer, an answer actually comes\u2026and it\u2019s not perhaps the one you hoped for, but it\u2019s also not the one you feared. And you think to yourself, that it should<\/em> hurt, but you realize that the edges of the memories no longer cut, and that while there is a bit of a sting from the wound being momentarily pulled at\u2026that the stitches haven\u2019t torn\u2026the long-tender wound has scarred over\u2026and you are able to look at that response for what it is, and be grateful for what it represents\u2026<\/p>\n

And that\u2019s it\u2026it\u2019s over.<\/p>\n

No tears, not really, no clinging on, just a door long held open finally being eased shut, and there is relief perhaps on both sides, even though you know that perhaps part of you \u2013 and part of them \u2013 is pressing a palm to the other side, a goodbye that is felt rather than said. Because after all this time, some things don\u2019t need to be said.<\/p>\n

And I find myself glad, that after years of tantrums and silence and confusion\u2026there finally comes a point where you can let each other go with grace\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hey look no crying Though she has one foot out the door I should be crying, it ought to hurt a little more I should resent it, try to prevent it Whatever for? Hey look no cryin\u2019, just good bye.. … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4,17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4238","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-below-the-waterline","category-reflections-below-the-waterline"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3GtNE-16m","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4238","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4238"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4238\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4240,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4238\/revisions\/4240"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4238"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4238"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4238"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}