{"id":5424,"date":"2019-08-26T18:49:25","date_gmt":"2019-08-27T01:49:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/?p=5424"},"modified":"2019-08-26T18:49:25","modified_gmt":"2019-08-27T01:49:25","slug":"in-the-end-seattle-08-26-2019","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/?p=5424","title":{"rendered":"In the End \u2013 Seattle \u2013 [08\/26\/2019"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Okay, I’m cookie dough. I’m not done baking yet. I’m not finished becoming… whoever the hell it is I’m gonna turn out to be. I make it through this and the next thing and the next thing, and maybe one day I turn around and realize I’m ready, I’m cookies.<\/p>\n

~ Buffy the Vampire Slayer
\n<\/em>
\nTwo cruises left? Wha\u2026.?<\/p>\n

Good lord how did the Alaska season go so blessedly fast<\/em>? And what on earth happened to August? I blinked\u2026that\u2019s what happened.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s see, what has this Alaska season taught me, because it\u2019s true, Alaska always \u201cgives\u201d me something.<\/p>\n

In this case? I think I\u2019d have to say self-confidence, mostly in my ablity to do my job despite the fact that it doesn\u2019t always<\/em> like me. This was supposed ot be a simple, straight forward fill contract, and yet it\u2019s turned out to be one of the more high pressure runs I\u2019ve experienced behind the scenes. Lots of spinning plates in the air and not always really sure where they\u2019re going to land.<\/p>\n

Not to mention that our shore-side tech department seems to have gone from \u201ctotally hands off\u201d to \u201ccheck in with you every other day\u201d? Careful what you wish for I suppose.<\/p>\n

This contract I have aquired two Funko Pop figurines (Hermoine Granger and Carmen San Diego), and five books (only one new), two dollar store Supernatural posters and a pair of Wonder Woman chuck taylor high tops. And I learned how to clean the toe caps on chuck taylor high tops. I\u2019ve been seasick ones and had about three migraines. I\u2019ve listened to four audiobooks, and not taken nearly as many photographs as I intended except for the ones I got of the glacier which turned out so well that I didn\u2019t take anymore for the rest of the season.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve reprogrammed 25 machines two times over and rewatched 11 \u00bd seasons worth of sci-fi tv. I\u2019ve learned four new courses and relearned all the old ones and am still having difficulty remembering all the new names. I\u2019ve locked myself out of my room three times, and ordered more room service than I can remember.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve drunk probably way more over-priced coffee than is good for me. And stared at more computer screens than some people probably do in a year.<\/p>\n

And I\u2019ve spent way too much on overage charges for my cell phone.<\/p>\n

Typical stuff\u2026all of it.<\/p>\n

But what Alaska has really given me this season? Is a reinstatement on the importance of communication. In the end, you are the only one that runs your own life \u2013 even if you\u2019re on the journey with fellow travellers \u2013 you\u2019re still the only one that makes your own choices. You choose what you focus on, what you wlil or will not accept, and whether or not to acknowledge the consequences of those choices.<\/p>\n

If you go to a party and spend the whole time focusing on the couple breaking up in the corner you will come home miserable. If you turn your attention to the other corner of the same party where people are having a fantastic time, you will come home feeling better about life. Emotions are contangious. Joy can spread as easily as fear. Neither is less real or less important than the other.<\/p>\n

You can be empathetic to someone\u2019s problems while not being a dormat, you can be assertive without being horror. It is okay to stand up and state when you think that something isn\u2019t fair or isn\u2019t right, and it\u2019s okay to explain why you think such a thing and suggest what can be done to fix it.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s okay to be angry or disappointed, and it\u2019s okay to give yourself permission to move on from that. Or not. Or not yet. That\u2019s a choice too, though not as happy of one perhaps.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s okay to have no idea what you\u2019re doing in life, and okay to want to change where you are, even if you can\u2019t do that right away. It\u2019s okay to not know exactly where you want to go.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s okay to acknowledge that even as a supposed adult you don\u2019t have it all together<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Because you know what? No one ever does.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s okay to fight with the ones you love, it\u2019s okay to disagree, it\u2019s okay to just not get them <\/em>sometimes, and it\u2019s okay make up with them on your own terms. All of your own terms.<\/p>\n

Because no one ever approaches life the same way and what bugs the heck out of one person may not resonate even the slightest bit with the next.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s okay to miss your cat and your partner and your home and still be relieved that you have a job evne if it takes you away from those things.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s okay\u2026Alaska reminds me\u2026it\u2019s all okay\u2026<\/p>\n

And you know what? If it isn\u2019t\u2026well then it\u2019s not the end.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Okay, I’m cookie dough. I’m not done baking yet. I’m not finished becoming… whoever the hell it is I’m gonna turn out to be. I make it through this and the next thing and the next thing, and maybe one … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3,4,17,75,81],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5424","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-alaska","category-below-the-waterline","category-reflections-below-the-waterline","category-summer-contracts","category-transitions"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3GtNE-1pu","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5424","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5424"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5424\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5426,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5424\/revisions\/5426"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5424"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5424"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5424"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}