{"id":5888,"date":"2021-05-15T10:10:20","date_gmt":"2021-05-15T17:10:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/?p=5888"},"modified":"2021-05-16T10:18:31","modified_gmt":"2021-05-16T17:18:31","slug":"trusting-instincts-victoria-bc-05-15-2021","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/?p=5888","title":{"rendered":"Trusting Instincts \u2013 Victoria, BC \u2013 [05\/15\/2021]"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Something has changed within me
\nSomething is not the same
\nI\u2019m tired of playing by the rules of someone else\u2019s game
\nToo late for second guessing
\nToo late to go back to sleep
\nIt\u2019s time to trust my instincts
\nClose my eyes\u2026and leap
\n~ Wicked: The Musical<\/em><\/p>\n

Another turn on the rollercoaster in what appears to be a very<\/em> up and down year\u2026but this turn is well\u2026it\u2019s definitely turned out to be a good one.<\/p>\n

Most of you know that for years now I\u2019ve been working the same retail job in between contracts. I\u2019ve actually been with the same store on and off for well over a decade. \u00a0It has been an ongoing part of my life for\u2026well what feels like forever; starting just when I was entering university. I had been with them through two owners, two locations and countless staff changes. Me and my father were what I came to think of as \u201cthe originals\u201d\u2026I didn\u2019t really think that\u00a0 I would ever not<\/em>, in some sense, be at that cash desk.<\/p>\n

But when I returned from my stint as one of the \u2018stranded crew\u2019, something had\u2026changed in me. It wasn\u2019t the job that had changed, or the people, it was\u2026most definitely\u2026me<\/em>. The odd pressure that comes with retail put me on edge more often than it used to, I couldn\u2019t handle the crowds or the up and down tension levels or (and this is the strange one) the noise. All in an instant the \u201cfall back\u201d dayjob I had always always had, that had never \u2013 when the chips were really down \u2013 failed to be good to me and had always been there to pick me up and welcome me back\u2026wasn\u2019t good for<\/em> me anymore. I was coming home sore and mentally exhausted and I simply\u2026wasn\u2019t myself.<\/p>\n

With a lot of outside pressures in my life that I can\u2019t<\/em> currently control, and with my job at the cruise line and still sharp-edged memory, I had to face up to the fact that this was something in my life I could<\/em> change. So, with equal parts regret and \u2013 eventually \u2013 relief, I started casting around for another position. Something I could stick with and learn from. Something that was more\u2026in my current headspace.<\/p>\n

And at first, for weeks, I found nothing. To be fair, I wasn\u2019t looking that<\/em> hard. More just casting around in the hope that something would pop up.<\/p>\n

Then, quite out of the blue apparently, something did! And despite the fact that I was absolutely terrified \u2013 because this was a very big change at the end of a very long list of big changes \u2013 I went for it.<\/p>\n

Which is how \u2013 yesterday \u2013 I found myself holding a squirming 9 week old puppy, who was quite intent on licking my nose; while getting her checked in with the vet for her afternoon check-up.<\/p>\n

Yup, I\u2019m now working the reception desk at a vet clinic. And I am loving<\/em> every minute of it. Admin work and<\/em> working with animals? Yes please!<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not saying that everything is suddenly all sunshine and roses\u2026but things are finally starting to feel much much better. And I can see a small amount of glimmering light at the end of a very long tunnel.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Something has changed within me Something is not the same I\u2019m tired of playing by the rules of someone else\u2019s game Too late for second guessing Too late to go back to sleep It\u2019s time to trust my instincts Close … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[112,111,106],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5888","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-land-life","category-life-in-the-times-of-covid","category-sadie"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3GtNE-1wY","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5888","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5888"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5888\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5890,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5888\/revisions\/5890"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5888"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5888"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5888"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}