{"id":68,"date":"2011-03-10T07:39:19","date_gmt":"2011-03-10T00:39:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.wordpress.com\/?p=68"},"modified":"2011-03-10T07:39:19","modified_gmt":"2011-03-10T00:39:19","slug":"on-being-ship-side-single","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/?p=68","title":{"rendered":"On being ship-side single"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>One of the most common questions that we, as crew members are asked by everyone (usually by our fellow crew-mates) is \u201cdo you have someone waiting for you back home\u201d. For a large number of us, the answer is either \u201cno\u201d (which, in my case is quite legitimate, though a little over-simplified), or something a little more complicated. \u00a0There are a lot of us that answer with \u201cI\u2019m ship-side single\u201d\u2026<\/p>\n

Life on ships is unusual. It\u2019s an entirely different world. In a very real way, we\u2019re living in a bubble.\u00a0 We\u2019re like our own floating version of Vegas \u201cwhat happens on the ship, stays on the ship\u201d. I\u2019ve seen people who are wearing a wedding ring, hooked up with people who most definitely are not their spouse.<\/p>\n

The concept of \u201cShipboard single\u201d is a very real thing. The thing that\u2019s important to understand though is that it isn\u2019t born out of being \u201cthat kind of a girl\u201d, or a desire to just sleep around \u2013 at least not for most of us. It\u2019s born out of a very real emotional need. The hook-ups inevitably start about half-way through a contract; it\u2019s fascinating to watch really, because some of the relationships are not remotely what you would expect. Some stay secret, some are blatant, some exist only in the rumor mill, but all are borne out of the same basic thing.<\/p>\n

We get lonely.<\/p>\n

You see, the thing about living on a ship, about living in this floating glittering wonderland, is that the sense of belonging doesn\u2019t always go more than skin deep. There are people around you all day, every day, but it\u2019s the ultimate example of being alone in the crowd. We do develop incredibly close connections, with truly amazing people, sometimes those connections last \u2013 but most times they fall by the wayside when a contract is over, you can\u2019t get too close to anyone, since you\u2019re rarely in one place for more than a few months at a time. I\u2019ve been fortunate, there are some connections I\u2019ve made will last me a life time, but there are many others that I know I\u2019ll likely not see again for months, years, or ever again. My point is, out here we\u2019re separated from everyone we know, everyone we care for \u2013 we wear a mask daily, no matter the weather, the lack of sleep, or the emptiness that occasionally gets its hooks into us, we are always smiling, always happy always with a little bit of extra sparkle. It\u2019s what we do; it\u2019s who we are, or rather, who we\u2019re supposed to be. But when you\u2019ve been two months at sea, away from your loved ones, away from anyone who seems to really know you, all you want is some kind of human companionship, some kind of human contact, to remind you that you are here, you are present, you are<\/em> a person, that you are solid and in the here and now.<\/p>\n

And you reach out. Sometimes to people that you would normally not give a glance to on the street.<\/p>\n

Or, as a dear friend of mine put it once, \u201cI\u2019m a sailor, we\u2019ll kiss anyone!\u201d<\/p>\n

Freud would have a field day with the likes of us\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One of the most common questions that we, as crew members are asked by everyone (usually by our fellow crew-mates) is \u201cdo you have someone waiting for you back home\u201d. For a large number of us, the answer is either … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4,17],"tags":[28],"class_list":["post-68","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-below-the-waterline","category-reflections-below-the-waterline","tag-below-decks-2"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3GtNE-16","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/68","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=68"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/68\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=68"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=68"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloodinyoursaltwater.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=68"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}