Edge of the Water – Honolulu, Hawaii – [02/13/2017]

Posted on February 14, 2017 by GypsyShaughnessy

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

I’ve been staring at the edge of the water
long as I can remember
Never really knowing why
I wish I could be the perfect daughter, but I come back to the water..
~ Moana

Usually, in my line of work, the day before I join the ship is the strangest and probably the most stressful. You get dropped off at the hotel in the dark – usually around 11 or later – and you have dinner alone in whatever restaurant is in the hotel, then you try to sleep for the few hours before the very early pick up time the next morning. It’s the limbo day, and it’s not usually any funny.

Never once – until today – have I had a travel day that actually lands me in daylight, with the time and the inclination to actually do something.

My flight was at the usual ridiculously early hour, but it landed me in Honolulu at 2 in the afternoon.

Time, I had time.

This…is  very unusual.

Even more unusual is the fact that they put me up in a hotel I was actually familiar with, right in the center of town, this is extremely rare as usually we’re housed out near the airport and nothing is within walking distance. But there I was, in a familiar area right in the middle of Waikiki…

So I just started walking. I ended up finding a beautiful outdoor Italian café for a very late lunch (so late as to be dinner really). I’ve always loved patio cafes, perhaps especially when I’m alone. For once ,I was eating dinner on the company dime , all by myself, and actually relaxed about it. There is a rather a big difference between sitting alone in a hotel room and sitting in the sunshine watching palm trees. Plus the spaghetti was yummy.

And then I just started to…wander. I had a vague idea of going to the zoo, but by the time I finally made my way down there it was closed. It’s a long walk, so I ended up instead on a self-guided tour of various statues all hung with leis, and of banyan trees that look as though you could step inside them and lose yourself, emerging to find that hundreds of years have passed even though you swear you were only gone for a moment.

Eventually I did make my way to the beach, but not until the sun was starting to dip towards the horizon, painting the sand the kinds of vibrant colours you don’t see anywhere else. Photographs cannot capture that properly, they miss the colours, they miss the emotion, they don’t capture the way the waves sound or the smell of the luau going on behind you…and over the years doing this job I have come to realize something: the best moments in life are sometimes the ones that photographs can never capture.

 

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New Adventures – Victoria – [01/12/2017]

Posted on February 12, 2017 by GypsyShaughnessy

Here  we go again.

At least this time, my suitcases are lighter. Much lighter. The line I work for has revised their uniforms, which means that I no longer have to wear my own business casual wear in the evenings (that’s the upside, the sad thing is that it means no more proper formal dresses…all uniforms all the time, Cinderella has hung up her ballgowns) – which means I have to pack a lot less. For once it’s looking like my suitcases are going to weigh in under at the airport.

I don’t know exactly how I feel about leaving this time. In a way, I’m looking forward to going back to work, and I certainly am looking forward to having income (when I’m not working, I’m technically unemployed, that gets expensive). But…I don’t know, it feels strange this time. Perhaps it’s because Amras and I are not on the same ship, I won’t see him again until July, if I’m lucky. Perhaps it’s because of the new kitten, who’s just starting to get used to me (and this will be the first time he’s ever had someone leave the house and not come back for a long time, I worry about the fuzzball).

But whatever the reason, I’m at least looking forward to getting out and seeing things again. There’s still a world outside my front door after all, no matter how strange a world it may sometimes be.

Biblo Baggins was right, it’s a dangerous business stepping out your front door. But at least in my case, I have good walking shoes…

 

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So Far To Go – Victoria – [01/22/2017]

Posted on January 22, 2017 by GypsyShaughnessy

‘Cause…
I know we’ve Come So Far
But we’ve Got So Far To Go
~ Hairspray

Today – as with every day – the world stands at a crossroads.

Yesterday, millions of people made their voices heard. Millions of feet hit the street in the largest world wide protest that many of us had ever seen. But not all of us, many on those streets and outside of them recognize those protests, because they remember when they’ve happened before.

And it was those people who reminded me of something incredibly important:

Yesterday was not enough.

I was among many yesterday who had probably never attended a protest in their lives. I’m not an activist, I’m not a political person, I am guilty of hiding in the shadows instead of speaking out. There were a lot of people like me there yesterday, deciding that this was it, this was the time to change things.

But the thing is, change does not happen because of just one day. And it does not happen just because you went to one march. Marching is not enough. One day of changing your attitude, of standing up and speaking out, is not enough. This is not the time to put our marching boots in the closet and go back to our own comfortable lives, there is still a fight, there will always be a fight. This is not the time to sit back and look at those selfies you may have snapped and congratulate yourself for “doing something” and then leave it at that. This is the time to KEEP doing something,

The rights we marched for yesterday are still in danger. And it should be noted that the March yesterday did not have a single arrest, while a march run by something like Black Lives Matter (also intended to be a peaceful march) is met with riot gear before it even starts. The balance is still heavily tipped. Just because the majority marched, does not mean the minorities are saved.

What yesterday was? Was a start. A beautiful, true and strong start…a start that I dearly hope will start to change attitudes towards privilege and every single other –ism. Ride that wave of hope, fan the flame it gives you, and use it to keep moving forward…and NOT JUST FOR YOU.

Because this isn’t just about feminism, any more than it is just about race, or just about orientation. Intersectionality is a real thing, and something that needs to be acknowledged, we will get nowhere if by fighting for “our” cause, we fight against someone else’s, or eclipse someone else’s.

Those of us who are fortunate enough to be born into privilege (and that does not necessarily mean – or have anything to do with wealth) – have a responsibility: not only to treat every one of our fellow human beings with kindness and respect, but to acknowledge the privilege we have been born into, and use it to fight – and fight hard – to bring everyone the rights that we are lucky enough to enjoy every day.

The fight, my friends, brothers, sisters and elders…has only just begun.

It’s going to be a long, tumultuous, four years, we have a lot of work ahead of us. So acknowledge each other, help each other, get comfortable with being uncomfortable…

Because it really is time to stop accepting the things we cannot change, and start changing the things we can no longer accept.

 

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Just to Sit Still Would Be A Sin – Victoria – [01/20/2017]

Posted on January 21, 2017 by GypsyShaughnessy

What if I’m a sinner? I ain’t exactly alone It’s my body, and my body ain’t Nobody’s business but my own I know what I’m doing I know who I am If you’ve got a problem? I don’t give a damn!

~ The Life

For centuries people have tried to tell us who to be and who to please. People have tried to tell us who we are and who we should be. Be prettier (but not too pretty), be smarter (but not too smart), be proud but don’t advertise, be yourself but don’t be intimidating. And whatever you do, don’t let yourself be different. That might get you noticed, and after all you don’t want to rock the boat. If something happens to you you must have been asking for it.

And so we stand by, learning to be silent, trying to figure out just who it is we’re supposed to be.

And I’m not just talking about women. I am many things, and woman is only one of them. I’m also LGBTQ (yup, rainbow and proud, take it or leave it), I’m an artist, I’m – as best as I can be – an environmentalist, I’m a Pagan. I am a myriad of things. I am lucky enough to be born Caucasian, so I know nothing of the struggle that so many have been plagued with, but I feel deeply for those who are all too familiar with that battle. I do not speak for them, that’s absolutely not my right, merely stand with them.

The thing is, we are tired of the sidelines. All of us on the fringes, all of us who have been pushed to one side because we’re just a little bit different, or just a little bit outside the socially acceptable norm, or who happen to identify differently. Everyone that society has trodden down on whatever level.

We’re done.

Totally and utterly done.

Women have fought for centuries for the right to be seen as equals. People of Colour have fought for centuries to be seen as *human*. LGQBT have fought for decades to be seen as natural and normal. Current events (and proposals for future events) have pushed those fights to the limits, hard fought for rights are being revoked, equality stands to be striped, people are in danger of being dehumanized, we stand on the threshold of the cultural world turning back centuries. And if someone doesn’t stand up and do something about it before it gets momentum, then it will be too late.

And I, for one, do not intend to sit and let that happen. Nobody should. So you can’t do much, it doesn’t matter, do something. Support your local artists, even if it just means going up to someone and telling them “hey, you’re awesome”, go to a theatrical production, shop at an arts market. Donate to a woman’s shelter, donate to a museum, sponsor a child, sponsor a grandmother, donate to planned parenthood, read the newspapers (the REAL papers, not the fake ones) find out what is happening,
educate yourself, enlighten yourself…do something. Because if enough people do something then things change in spite of themselves. The thing is, big changes happen if no one does anything as well, but I guarantee you, you won’t like the outcome as much.

Do something.

Tomorrow afternoon, at least 2 million sets of feet will hit the pavement. Those footsteps will echo worldwide; we will not stand for tracks that push us backwards. We will not stand silently by and watch the world fall.

We will fight. Not with guns, not with violence – because those have been tried and they help no one and hurt many. With actions, with words, with the statement of OVER 2 MILLION PEOPLE AROUND THE GLOBE for one cause.

Our wombs. Our relationships. Our choices. Our Body. Our orientation. Our career. Our love. Our laughter. Our religion. OUR RIGHT.

A woman’s place? Is wherever the hell she wants to be.

We will not go back to the darkness.

And I will stand. By. My brothers and sisters.

And if you think “Our father in heaven” is bad, just you wait until MOM gets home!
Peace out.

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Strung Up – Victoria – [01/17/2017]

Posted on January 17, 2017 by GypsyShaughnessy

Don’t over-exaggerate your skills. If you say you can ice skate? You’d best be able to manage more than a wobble around the rink ~ The Actor’s Survival Guide

For Christmas, Amras bought me a very big present, which he knew I had been after for at least a year. Today UPS finally knocked on my door with a box that was almost taller than me, wished me a nice day and good luck and left me in possession of said box.

After about a half an hour of tearing through packing material (thankfully no packing peanuts!) and layers upon layers of bubble wrap, I finally got my hands on the Emily the Strange collectors’ edition Epiphone guitar.

Yes, he bought me a guitar.

A guitar I have wanted specifically since we saw it in Brazil last year…but that I had never really thought I would actually obtain.

The catch is…I have never, not once in my life, picked up a guitar. When I first saw the Emily guitar on display in a second hand music shop in Brazil I do remember pointing at it and saying that if I owned that guitar, I would learn how to play…

The truth? This is a beautiful instrument, and it scares me just a little…because I’m afraid I’ll damage it, or break it, or break myself trying not to break it. I mean, I don’t even know how to tune a guitar. Let alone play one!

It takes time to get to know an instrument, and it’s been a lot of years since I even tried. I played piano decently as a teenager, and I played trumpet (poorly) for a long time in high school. But I’ve never built a relationship with an instrument quite like this before. I don’t know it yet, and it definitely doesn’t know me. First dates are always so *awkward*

It feels like the scene in the music man when the smallest member of the “band” walks up to Professor Hill holding a french horn that is almost bigger than him

Professor, professor! I don’t even know how to hold it right! There’s these little spiggots on the side, but which one’s which?

So…this one is going to be an uphill adventure! Okay guitar, you respect me, I respect you…got that?

 

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Outside the Cave – Victoria, BC – [01/14/2017]

Posted on January 14, 2017 by GypsyShaughnessy

I hide a lot when I’m on vacation. Not from anyone in particular, just from the world. The cave is safe, and warm and protected, and I don’t have to think much when I’m in it..

But once in a very great while I am reminded that it’s worth getting myself out into the world. And when I do, I realize that I don’t actually do that often enough.

It’s so easy in this world of instant gratitification to get completey caught up in our own personal world – and so we don’t go anywhere. It’s cold and dark and scary out there after all

But it’s also beautiful in the world outside your windows. I was reminded of that, walking down the the gravel-laden beach across the street from my house, greeting people walking their dogs, sitting on a piece of driftwood watching a flock of Canada geese in the bay sillohuetted against the twilight.

I need to get out more. In more ways than just getting myself outside apparently…

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Slice of Paradise – Half Moon Cay – [01/03/2017]

Posted on January 4, 2017 by GypsyShaughnessy

There are worse ways to end a contract that on a beach, with a birthday party.

I ended up heading to the island early today, as I was supposed to have a meet n’greet style wrap up session in case people needed help with their cameras. However, no one came to find me during the allotted time (which was – honestly – quite expected, and I was just as happy to spend a half an hour sitting in the sunshine waiting to see if anyone did come), and once that time slot was over the rest of the day was my own.

Amras joined me some time later, as he had to wait for open tender (surprisingly, the band was not playing the island, which is something they are normally required to do, but are not going to resist if they are suddenly not doing it) – as did at least one other band member, who happened tob e celebrating a birthday that day. Beach birthday party! Most excellent.

On a total whim I had wandered into the shops earlier looking for a beach blanket (which I did not find) and ended up walking out with a Frisbee. Now, I have never thrown a Frisbee before in my life as much as I can recall, so this was a complete impulse, because it seemed like that kind of day. So I had that tucked next to me when I was lying reading my book.

OH, I bought a Frisbee,

Oh? That could be fun

You wanna play?

Sure.

Which is how I found myself flailing through the water chasing a small disc of crazily bright pink plastic, which normally managed to spin directly through my hands instead of into them. It was quickly established that I could throw or catch, but not both in the same volley (the longest volley we ever had was four throws, world champion Frisbee throwers we are not!). It was one of those day where you wihs you had a camera – or rather someone to hold the camera for you – but you also know that no camera no matter how good it is, or even how good the photographer, will be able to truly capture those moments. Cameras don’t capture laughter, or the taste of salt water, or the feeling of the sun on the back of your neck.

Sometimes the best camera is your memory…and the soft colours it provides us with.

So yes, there are worse ways to end a contract.

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An Awfully Big Adventure – At Sea – [12/31/2016]

Posted on January 4, 2017 by GypsyShaughnessy

 What is a life anyway? We’re born, we live a little, we die. ~ Charlotte’s Web

A hand above the water, an angel reaching for the sky, is it raining in heaven? Do they want us to cry? ~ Queen

Some roads are harder than others, some years are measured in tears instead of laughter. For so many of us – at least those that I’m lucky enough to call friend – this year has been one of those. So many have lost so much, and I don’t just mean the seemingly endless parade of well-loved performers we have said goodbye to too soon. So many have moved on from us, bright stars too soon robbed of their light. For some, any age would have been too soon.

So yes, it has been a long hard, in some cases grief ridden twelve months. And although logically we know that there were also some wonderful things to that happened this year (pandas off the endangered list springs to mind), it is so easy to think that the world has simply gone mad, and it is determined to take all of us with it.

We could so easily lose ourselves in that as this year barrels towards its conclusion. But it does remain important to remember that among the sours there have been sweets.

This year has brought me new journeys that at times I was curious to see if I would survive, but those challenges have left me with a stronger sense of self, 2016 knocked me down flat and then forced me to find the tools I needed to crawl may way back to reality. A reality that I chose, that I molded, and that I will accept. The last twelve months have taught me just how worthy I am, and just how loudly I can roar.

And so while I will be right there with so many others, screaming goodbye to this year’s rollercoaster at the top of my lungs – I will also, still be grateful for those lessons, for that progress.

Because what is a life anyway? Just taking things day by day, and lesson by lesson…and no one is harder to teach than a student who already ‘knows’ everything.

Wishing you all a blessed and joyous 2017

 

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Oranges Scented – At Sea – [12/25/2016]

Posted on December 29, 2016 by GypsyShaughnessy

I’ve said before that Christmas on ships is a very odd circumstance, just when you think you’ve got a wisp of the edges of it, something usually pops up to distract you and then poof it’s gone again. With our own celebrations becoming things that are slid carefully in between the celebrations we provide for the guests, Christmas runs the very real chance of simply becoming another working day  – albeit with a lot more decoration.

The old adage: “What happens in show business when a holiday comes along? You put on an extra performance.” Is no less true out here than it is on a ‘normal’ stage.

But there are times, small times, when that changes, there are times when it feels like Christmas.

One of those times is first thing Christmas morning, when we all gather in the show room – even those of us who aren’t scheduled to be there (myself and Amras for example, both there, both wearing Santa hats and eagerly accepting egg nog), along with basically every child on board, even the teenagers. Once the hour strikes 10 and everyone is gathered, the first ship-wide announcement goes on.

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, this is the officer of the watch speaking from the bridge. We have detected an unidentified flying object which seems to be moving through the sky directly towards the ship. We do not at this time anticipate any danger, but we will keep you appraised of the situation as it develops.

Following announcements declared that the object in question was in fact a sleigh drawn by nine reindeer – bearing Santa to the decks of the flagship.

They call the children by ages groups, the youngest going first, but the one that always touches me is when they open the opportunity up to anyone, of any age, to come and have their picture taken with the man in red himself; and you see grandmothers and teenagers up there smiling unbelievably wide smiles. Reminding you that Christmas is not just for kids in adorable pajamas.

The rest of the day passed in a blur, I was still teaching, Amras was still playing. As I’ve mentioned before, our Christmas is in between everyone else’s. But that does make you appreciate the little things though; the long distance phone call home while you open your presents, Christmas movies on the crew channel, and the organized chaos of the crew Christmas dinner they give every season.

It never starts out as chaos of course. One entire ride of the buffet restaurant  – the one not open to crew regularly – is barricaded off and set with full formal tables. Everyone dresses up and meets for cocktails before being escorted to sit down for a full four course meal. After that the orders always get mixed up and sometimes forgotten all together, but no one cares, because we’re family out here, and family is always a little bit crazy.

Santa doesn’t normally visit the crew, but there are always little gifts exchanged (“I give you a tie, you give me a book”), little things between friends. I got one of my closest cast member friends – Claura – a copy of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, which caused her to squeal with joy before she handed me a beautiful wrapped miniature music box that will always be a jewellery box.  Mum and Dad sent me a beautiful new Pandora charm in the shape of a Christmas tree.

And I did get one massive present that I wasn’t even remotely expecting from Amras,

So do you want me to see a picture of what it is you’re going to be receiving in the mail?

I’m torn, I want the surprise, but if I get it too late you won’t be phone-able for my reaction

True, okay. Sit.

Are you sure?

Yup. Sit.

This…is the guitar you will be receiving.

My guitar! He found my guitar! And not just any guitar the guitar. The Epiphone Emily the Strange guitar. We saw it in Brazil last year, and had to walk out without it – which I have been kicking myself about ever since. It’s a collector’s item, and remarkably hard to find, I have no idea how he managed it! What I said at the time, when we were in Brazil, was if I had that guitar, I would learn how to play.

So now I’m going to need to put my money where my mouth is and learn a new hobby! Which I am abnormally excited about.

But it wasn’t about any of that. Not at all. Christmas never is.  It’s about the feeling that you get when you’re with family, no matter how far apart you are or how much you sometimes disagree; you’re still family. I am lucky enough to often get the “Dolly in the Corner” but I have never forgotten – and never will – that it’s all about the oranges.

 

 

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Branching Paths – At Sea – [12/28/2016]

Posted on December 29, 2016 by GypsyShaughnessy

What seems like a very long time ago, or perhaps not that long ago depending on how you look at it. I reached one of those very monumental turning points in my life.  I was 19, fresh into university, and spending my summers working at the military base in my hometown. I wasn’t anything much, just a civilian secretary, but there was potential there.  I was learning. Enough that in my second summer they offered me the position full time.

Full time. Complete full time stability, and a salary that looking back should have boggled my mind.

I’ve often wondered what would have happened if I’d taken that offer. I suspect I would have ended up a lifer with the military, would have ended up with a condo that was paid off, a car I could actually drive, probably a dog or maybe a cat. I would never have gone to England, never have finished university most likely, and most certainly never would have ended up where I am.

Obviously I didn’t take the job. I finished university, lived in England for nearly two years, and ended up here. Watching someone perform on stage that I dearly love, on a floating palace in the middle of the pacific. I have travelled the world more times than most people my age could ever imagine. I’ve fallen in love, out of love, the back in love again.  I’ve touched the pyramids, hiked through Rome, waded in the river Jordan, read tarot cards in the shadow of Stonehenge. I’ve lived an incredible life. But a very very different one than could have come to me..

I never regret a single moment of any of it…but sometimes I do wonder what would have happened if I had taken that job, if I had chosen that road; where would I have journeyed, what would I have become?

Once, what seems like not so very long ago, two roads diverged …and I? I did take the one less travelled by, and that truly has made all the difference.

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