The frequency of too many thoughts….
It may have been noticeable that things are quiet around here. In truth that’s because I’ve not had a great deal to say, or the things I have to say have been to specific people, and are not meant to be aired here.
Life is feeling a bit like a round peg in a square hole right now. But the recharging is doing me good, though I never would have thought I’d spend a whole week curled up in a quilt watching Lost Girl and playing mindless computer games. And running errands, changing banks, changing phones, paying bills, doing several loads of laundry, unpacking, repacking, and getting ready to go all over again…
And thinking, quite possibly thinking too much.
A lot has changed in my hometown over the last year that I’ve been away. My bartender has changed bars, and the new guy doesn’t know me well enough to not ask for ID when I ask to run a tab, things are in different places in the kitchen, three bags of donations have gone to the book store and the charity shop, picking up my life, packing up the past. Nothing ever stays the same, or the way you expect, for long. And when you’re away for long periods of time the place you come back to is always…different.
Life is such an unsteady thing. Everything changes so quickly. We’re all so fragile. Our relationships, the ties that connect us to each other, are delicate, and yet the ones that matter, the ones that are complicated and confusing and multi-layered those ones are worth fighting for, worth surrendering for. Real friendship, is worth the hell it sometimes puts you through.
The street names may change and the bars might shut down, but the things that really count, never really change…