Back In Black – Victoria – [05/14/2012]

The Sound of her Wings – Chris Ortega

“When the first living thing existed, I was there waiting. When the last living thing dies, my job will be finished. I’ll put the chairs on the tables, turn out the lights, and lock the universe behind me as I leave.”  –  “Death” [Neil Gaiman, Sandman]

The first tour back always seems…unusual. I’ve said before that my hometown is not precisely quiet when it comes to paranormal activity. What’s more, I was nervous this time, I haven’t been on the route in almost a year, not since I took the party band for their tour last summer. There’s a lot to remember, moreover – depending on what you believe, there is a lot to face up to. In  a lot of ways (and never tell them I said that) ghosts are like pets…they take a great deal of offense to change. And nearly ten months of absence and a sudden return? That’s a big change…to say they hit me fast, and they hit me hard, is something of an understatement.

All that aside, I’m still very good at my day (night?) job, good enough that when my boss asked me to take a solo run despite having not touched the script or run a tour in nearly ten months, I stepped up to the plate, reviewed my notes, and shrugged back into the black satin and black lipstick.  Despite having done this for nearly 5 years, since the time when I actually *was* a goth (yes, I was, and no you will see no evidence of the fact here!), it always feel strange to stain my lips blood-black and sit on the bus to work. People who would probably smile to me if I were dressed “normally”, avoid my eyes….makes you think about social stereotypes, I am, after all , just a girl going to work like any other. At any rate, I usually respond by just turning on my I-pod and opening my book.

There is a beauty in the stories of the main tour route, some are sad, some are bittersweet, some are …flat out disturbing. Over the years I’ve learned to deal with the various reactions to the different stories: the chocolate shop always gets a rueful smile, wheras the alley..

The Alley…deserving of the capital letter. Once, it was the route that they used to march the chain gang from the jail to the rest of the city, now…it is a dark, creepy, and highly energitic narrow space connecting to nothing at all. There is, I’m afraid, no beauty there – unless you count historical interest – and the reactions to it vary widely, some people erupt in nervous laughter, some (like myself) get sick, get dizzy, or (like tonight) go numb from ankles to knees…

The job often makes me think about the entire concept of death , some people are afraid of it, and perhaps that’s why we have ‘ghosts’, some people embrace it, and perhaps that’s why we have ‘angels’…

Either way, my reaction to being “back in black”…seems to be a rollercoaster…like so much else these days…