27: That no one gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long

Hot-patootie, bless my soul…sex drugs and rock n’ roll

… though I’ll admit that I do need to pay better attention to my dental health…I don’t smoke (I’m a singer, if I lit up a smoke I would be killed by multiple people long before lung cancer could take me out), cannabis smoke gives me migraines and I’m sure actually inhaling the stuff would make me throw up so – despite my tendency to be drawn to ‘rebels’ – I’ve never really had the personality make-up to be a true ‘wild child’…

But I have, it seems, forgotten a vice.

You see, while I seldom indulge (and there’s a reason for this) yes…yes I (occasionally) drink.

I was 22 when I discovered I could drink.  And yes, it was a discovery. Before that I hadn’t ever allowed a sip of alcohol to cross my lips. I never drank in high school, never went to a single cast party, I never even had a glass of wine at the celebration of the end of my first professional gig. It’s not that I was raised to think drinking was bad, it was just no big deal…if I wanted a glass of wine with dinner I could have one, so why bother making an epic about it? I’d also seen a bit of the side of people that came out of the shadows while under the influence…and I didn’t like it. So I avoided it.

Then I got to university, and discovered clubbing, and dancing and staying out too late and…I don’t think I’ll go any deeper than that, those of you who were there for that period of my life already know; those who weren’t don’t need to.  But even that didn’t really turn the tables for me on the drinking thing…it was coming to ships that did it. And you ask any good li’l ship girl, they’ll give you a similar story. I remember sitting at dinner with friends on my very first contract and having the following exchange:

So, what do you drink?

I don’t…not really

…oh…well…just wait. You will

Ships teach you to drink; it’s one of the few ways we have to unwind on board and one of the few social activities that’s both constantly available and within almost everyone’s budget. While I never did become a true party girl, (never have been probably never will be) but I came home from that contract able to drink my friends under the table and remain standing. To this day this actually isn’t a skill I’m proud of, it’s more a skill that frightens me – I still remember what lurks in the shadows of that temporary release.  I have an addictive personality, and I’m well aware of this fact.
Now, 6 contracts on, I’ve calmed down again. Found my balance, found my centre. Found me. Because yes, I lost me there for a there. I go to bed early, I get enough sleep, I don’t drink coffee and I limit myself to one or two drinks a week if that. On the rare nights that I do go out with my friends, I turn down more drink offers than I accept, or I make them buy me bottled water…

Because just because you ‘can’ do something, doesn’t mean you should

And it’s true – you can’t get away with it forever.

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