The race is long, and in the end it is better to race within oneself and finish behind the others than to race too hard and crash ~ The Art of Racing in the Rain
This last month it’s been a long race, and there have been times I’ve nearly crashed off the track and into the barriers. But I’ve always somehow eased my way back into some semblance of ‘normal’.
The World Cruise is drawing into its final stretch. With only a handful of days left until we dock in Florida, the word “final” is starting to once again creep into everyone’s vocabulary. People are starting to think about things like contract extensions and final evaluations, of flights home and whether or not you can afford to buy that last souvenir and still have space in your suitcase for your hairdryer. For my part I’m suddenly wondering if I’ll ever find that fairy stud earring that mysteriously seems to have disappeared. I remain convinced that I fell asleep with it in and it’s somewhere in my counterpane, but turning the bed upside down looking for it is not something I’ve had time to do.
My co-librarian and I are both busy prepping the library for the Alaska season and waiting on pins and needles to hear the latest about our upcoming contract schedule. We’ve both been requested back to the flagship for next season and so our contracts are somewhat intertwined with each other; that makes it a little difficult for Head Office to figure a schedule that makes sure we both get a reasonable amount of time off. So while the others are enjoying the last few ports on the itinerary, I’m busy trying to finish my spring cataloging of the collection, pulling books out that are out of date or worn out, rescuing the occasional paperback, putting together my wish list for next season (I am trying desperately to bring the collection up to date, as most of our titles are from nearly ten years ago), and prepping all my scheduling and paperwork for the upcoming relocation cruise. It’s busy work, but it sounds worse than it actually is. I could be lazy and not do any of it, but I actually like admin. I’m weird that way.
Last night (well the wee hours of this morning really), we had our ship-side version of “American Idol” during which a large portion of the crew piled into the crew mess and belted out their favourite karaoke number for our ‘esteemed panel of UK judges’ (our onboard cast is from the UK). I ended up going first, which is something I usually attempt to avoid as it tends to mean others don’t want to sing after me (and no that’s not me being a diva), but I will admit as I stood up there and slithered my way through ‘Black Velvet’ it did feel damn good. The expression on one cast member’s face was particularly priceless. Then there were the comments from the judges
Shaughnessy is what I call a dirty dark horse…you see her during the day and she’s all quiet and reserved and then she comes out with something like that…
Not really knowing how to take compliments (still), I just stood there and grinned and tried very hard not to blush.
I placed 5th in the contest. Which at first was a bit of a blow to my professional pride (5th in an amateur contest? Had I fallen that badly out of practice?) but then I remembered that they would have taken into account that I was trained and no one else (aside from the judges) was, one of the few cases where my training likely worked against me. But it was nice to just flex my vocal chords again.
On another note…
Some of you may have wondered why I’ve been so silent as of late. My only answer without putting a big dramatic point on it is that it’s not been an easy month. If I didn’t know any better I’d say that mercury had gone retrograde again without my noticing it (wouldn’t be the first time).
There are a lot of reasons I wear a dragon around my neck. First and foremost – he is a reminder, that dragons can be beaten. They can be tamed; they can be harnessed and ridden on the wind. The view from up there is amazing. They can be your protector or your enemy; it all depends on your interpretation, and on your will to look them in the eye.
This has been a season of dragons for me. A few that I thought long tamed have unexpectedly reared their heads and bared their teeth again, slashing and threatening at the edges of my life until I was forced to turn around and stare them down again. Eventually, as they always do, they slunk back into the shadows, taking up a defensive growling position in the twilight while the rest of my life slides back into the sunshine, but the retreat takes a while, so…well…me with a quote for every occasion:
When I’m deep inside of me, don’t be too concerned, I won’t ask for nothin’ while I’m gone ~ Billy Joel