I didn’t realize how tired I was, or how dangerously close I was to burn out, until I was given the opportunity to take a dozen long steps back from the edge of the brink and look up at the bright blue of the sky instead of down into the pulsing shadows that had been gathering at my feet.
Peace is something that you find within yourself, it’s the needle and thread that stitches you together when the rest of the world tries to tear you apart. In the last few days, I have gradually started to go through that process, and ever so slowly the woman I see in the mirror is the one I once I again want to see instead of the one who won’t meet my gaze.
I am coming back to myself.
Helped of course by my 2.2k amble up the shoulder of a well-traveled road from the bus stop to one of the local historical sites (one of the few that I’d never been to before, despite being a fan of such places and having lived on the island all my life), to see the latest show of the children’s theatre company I used to be much more heavily involved in back in the day.
There are worse ways to spend a day than wandering through a park in the fresh air and sunshine, observing a truly amazing performance by some seriously talented actors. I count myself lucky to be friends with the gentleman who adapted and directed the onsite production of “The War of the Eagles”, and the show itself had resonance with me since I’ve looked down on the wreck of the USS Arizona. When they reached the scene in the story that announced the attack on Pearl Harbour every hair on the back of my neck stood up. Truly, this was a performance that served double duty as a time machine, it was as if you had stepped back into the pages of history and my kudos goes out to every member of the cast and stage team. Most of my readers are far flung, and those that aren’t have insanely busy schedules, but if you’re on the island in tomorrow afternoon, take the time to see this show’s last performance, you won’t regret it.
Of course, for me it was also a chance to simply be outside and be back in my world again. A world I so often forget about. Until something jars me back to life and reminds me that oh yeah, I do still do this.
For those that don’t know: I was invited to audition with Belinda King Casting Company in NYC next month. There are multiple reasons (money not being the smallest of them) that I turned the offer down, but needless to say it was exceptionally flattering to finally be asked after all this time (they’ve had my resume on the books for nearly a year), and where one call comes others will eventually follow.
I’ve been in pieces lately, and I’m still putting myself back together, but moments like this help me remember that yes, there is a fairly bright light at the end of the tunnel.
And for once? I know that it ain’t an oncoming train.
Thank you all, for bearing with me.