I often say that sometimes when I get home it feels like my own life has moved on without me and I have to run to catch up to it. What I really need to remember is that there are at least a couple of things I can do to help out with that…
It had been nearly two years since I set foot on a social dance floor. This is something I’m not particularly happy about but at the time there were reasons for my staying away, mostly exhaustion to be honest. Swing dancing is a serious work out and when I came home for my regular vacations I was just too beat to attempt it. Then of course it got to the point where I didn’t think I’d know anyone anymore so what was the point.
I really should know better than that by now, because every time I do go back, I’m pounced on by people who have missed me, and I meet new people to miss me next time. I really need to remember that.
There is a buzz that comes from really dancing to live music that is hard to describe and difficult to get from any other source. When I showed up at the dance tonight I wasn’t actually aware that there was a band scheduled to play, which just goes to show how out of touch I’ve been lately. So it was already a good start to the night, but then Savage asks me the paramount question:
So do we get to jam you tonight?
Those of you who know nothing about the swing dance scene will probably be very confused by that statement so allow me to try and explain. A jam circle is well…something we do for people on special occasions: birthdays, anniversaries, people leaving, people returning stuff like that. Basically the people being “jammed” are in the middle of a circle, surrounded by all the other dancers, and the goal is for as many people to dance with them in the space of one song as possible. I put it to a friend once that it was like ‘being passed around like the last piece of a Hershey’s bar at a chocoholic convention” and that still pretty much stands true. And tonight it was with a live band.
There hits a point as a dancer where you are completely reliant on muscle memory, where your feet just do what they’re supposed to and you find that you can follow almost anything without even realizing that that’s what you’re doing. I’m certainly not saying that I didn’t make any mistakes this evening, I most definitely did…but there were those moments of…”oh yeah, I’m good at this, I totally forgot that…”
Only once did things turn slightly sour, and that was at the very end of the evening. There are all different kinds of leads, and all different kinds of dances to be led. As a follow you tend to be able to pretty quickly adjust to different people’s styles. For the most part I can dance with a beginner just as well as I can dance with someone at my own level (dancing with someone *above* my level is a whole different story). Thing is though, there are certain unspoken rules that are sort of inherit in some styles. Especially close dancing. In this case it was blues. You can dance blues two ways, pretty much contact or non-contact. Now, I will only dance full-on blues (what Silv calls “peeking through a keyhole” blues) with maybe two people, one of whom I’ve been dancing with for over a decade. Usually if you’re going to dance with a total stranger you’re supposed to *ask* them if they’re comfortable getting up close and personal. Yeah, this lead didn’t, and it was seriously creepy for me…not so much that it wrecked the evening for me or anything, but certainly enough that it made me really uncomfortable.
So if you’re ever thinking of taking up social dancing, let that be a lesson to you: ASK your potential partner what he or she might be comfortable with first.
So anyway…I needed tonight. I needed the jolt from actually getting out and doing something. And in an odd way, I needed to know that I still existed, that people who’s radar I’ve been off of for a while still missed me…it goes a long way to easing that transparent feeling that sometimes comes when you’re just away a lot…
And on that note…it’s once again time for this Cinderella to get some sleep.
Bright Blessings
Shaughnessy