Finishing the job you’re in when you already know you’re going somewhere c completely different in just a few weeks is a very odd place to be. For the most part I am over the moon, although apparently some part of me must still be overloaded because I still have the occasional moment of being gripped by terrible anxiety.
At any rate, things do seem to be falling rather neatly into place. My family has been able to rebook their cruise so that they’re going to be able to sail with me on my new ship, and there is even a potential replacement for me already onboard. Super nice girl, who used to be cast but is looking for something else to do now that the casting company that used to cover the ships has disbanded; even though she’s still being interviewed, my EM has me training her just in case. With any luck, she’ll just step straight into my shoes when I go.
In the meantime of course, I do have an actual job to do. After three blissful days in Rio (best weekend ever!) the onset of three sea days has slammed me flat to the ground. I’ve been running flat out since I got up this morning! And it still feels like everything hasn’t gotten done! With so many changes in the air, I suppose it’s not all that surprising that sometimes anxiety comes up and gives me a hard shove, but for the most part I feel lighter than I have in about three years!
That’s even with all the preparation I’m trying to do. The compu-tech on my current ship lent me a windows 10 computer to play on so I could learn the system (I still haven’t upgraded my laptop), and I haven’t even had a chance to crack it open! That said, I only got it yesterday.
It feels very strange though, being here but not being here. I’m not really quite sure how I feel about it. I mean I’m happy of course, I’m beyond happy, I can feel knots easing out of my shoulders that I thought were part of my permanent body make up – but at the same time. There was a time when this was my dream job (well perhaps not my absolute dream job, but an exceptionally good alternative); I can’t help but mourn leaving it a bit, or at least leaving what it was if not what it became.
But as I’ve said before, there comes a time…and this, is apparently the right time.