~Would you so soon put out the light that shines within me? ~ A Christmas Carol
I am a firm believer that everyone has a light inside of them. Everyone has something they can give to the world; and the world needs that light, because as is so often the case these are dark times in which we live.
I lost my light for a while. A long while actually. I won’t go into how, or why, there were a variety of reasons, many personal, some not. Everyone’s light flickers once in a while.
It came to a point – not so very long ago – when I looked in the mirror and I saw someone looking back at me that I didn’t know. She was tired, wane, and her eyes had no light. I knew the light was in there somewhere, but I couldn’t find her…and I realized at that moment that I was at a crossroads. A crossroads we all reach at some point…although I am convinced that many of us don’t notice that it has come and gone, or that it has gone and returned.
Looking at those tired eyes in the mirror, I realized I had a choice: I could stay where I was, and keep feeling the gears of my own life, and everyone else’s life that touched mine, grind down a candlesnuffer on my light…or I could change my circumstance.
And I got lucky, the right door opened, and I was brave enough (And terrified enough) to walk through it. And slowly but surely, change came…
Until now, not so very long after that moment, I look in the mirror and I start to see her again. The woman I thought I’d lost, with her spontaneity and her hard-won battle scars that she still bears with a smile, and that little glimmer that says she might just might be up to the best kind of mischief. Morever, I’m starting to see the smile.
I’m starting to see my light.
And this time, now that I am conscious of that crossroads, I refuse to let anyone – or anything – snuff me out again.