“The Anaconda”
I am a theme park junkie. Everyone who knows me is fully cognoscente of this fact. Amras’ has known this for years; we’ve been trying to line up timelines to get to a theme park together for ages now. But contracts have never synced up, time has just never been on our side.
Thing is, we’re still in Virginia, and there are a lot of options around here. We were tossing ideas back and forth in the car on the way here and while we had looked at possibly going to Williamsburg, we ultimately decided on something a little bit closer to our temporary home. And, only about twenty minutes after it opened at 10:30 (only amateurs start a theme park day at noon, and we would have been there before opening if traffic had been a bit more on our side), we walked through the gates of King’s Dominion, where Amras’ actually worked long before I knew him.
Parks feel the same, no matter where they are, no matter what kind they are. They feel the same. I can pin down a theme park soundtrack from the first few moments of it being played, and it still gives me that same thrill of “ohmygoodnessIgettobeakid!”
Thing is, for me, I have only ever been to “theme” theme parks, not traditional ‘all American’ amusement parks. I’ve done Disney ( a lot), I’ve done Universal (also a lot), and Knott’s Berry Farm (twice) but…this…this was different.
King’s Dominion is a coaster park…
Rollercoasters and I have a love/hate relationship – I love them, and they terrify me. I usually spend the last few moments in a coaster line going “WHY AM I DOING THIS?” or some variant thereof…but I do love them.
There was though, one thing I had to check before we got in any lines. Those of you who know me off page will know that I am rather tiny, I barely brush the 5’2” mark on a ‘tall’ day. I was honestly a little worried about the height requirements on some of the bigger rides. King’s Dominion has a “safe to ride” measurement system when you come in the park, so almost the first thing I did was measure myself up against it. I barely made it over the 60” mark that clears you for riding everything! Which is good, because I hate to be the one left sitting on the bench while everyone else goes and has fun.
We had our requisite souvenir picture taken at the gate and then started ambling our way down the main promenade.
So, where are we going first?
Duh, the Grizzly
seriously?
Absolutely
The grizzly is a wooden coaster, buried in the woods at the back of the park. Fortunately for me, unlike the last time I rode a wooden coaster, I was smart enough this time to wear my contact lenses. Glasses and wooden coasters do not get along. The thing with me and wooden coasters as that I am very small, and usually wooden coasters are considerably older than their steel sisters, so the cars only have lapbars. Lap bars that do not actually reach my lap! So along with the traditional feeling of rising off your seat as you go around the turns, I am also faced with feeling like I am going to pitch forward out of the car if I let go of said lap bar for more than a split second.
This was especially running through my mind when we went on the Rebel Yell, one of the oldest wooden rollercoasters in the states, and tradition dictates you have to put your hands in the air…which means I had to let go of my precious lapbar. I don’t think I’ve screamed that loud in a long time. That said, it was still pretty awesome.
My favourite though, by a long shot, was Flight of Fear. It sounds way more scary than it actually was. In fact, we didn’t even know what it was from the outside. It’s housed inside a building that looks like an X-Files warehouse, and at first I was terrified that it was an Alien sim ride, which I know I can’t do – nightmares – but then I started listening, and reverted back to my original analysis.
OOOH! It’s a dark coaster! I love dark coasters!
Are you sure?
Yeah yeah!
And I was right. But this wasn’t just any standard-launch dark coaster. This thing was fast. There are warnings on the cars telling you to keep your head back and face forward during launch, because the launch is so fast that if you didn’t follow those instructions there would be nasty consequences for your neck. Ten seconds after you strap into the cars, you’re gone. SO MUCH FUN!
I don’t think that I’ve smiled that long and that hard in ages. Despite the heat, and the always-overpriced lemonade, theme parks will always make everything feel so much more better..
And for my fellow theme park junkies?
RIDE ON!