I got my first real six string. Bought it at the five and dime. Played it ‘till my fingers bled….
Well, they aren’t bleeding…yet.
I will tell you this though: they hurt.
I have been blessed in my life with a good ear and a good sense of rhythm, which has meant two things: I never truly had to learn how to read music (much to the chagrin of my family) and…I never had to practice. I was a good enough dancer that I could skate by with being lazy when I was a kid (although looking back I almost weep to think how good I could have been if I’d pushed myself beyond my comfort zone), and as for being a vocalist…well, I was a good girl and ran my scales most of the time, but I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t singing, so I don’t remember a time when I couldn’t do it. It was something I was gifted with, not something I truly had to work for. As much as I intrinsically know the importance of practicing…I’ve not had to buckle down and learn something completely from scratch since I was 3 years old in my first dance class. Instinct has kind of always been my friend.
Until now.
Because this isn’t something I’ve a natural talent for, or any background in. After barely mastering just two chords (and struggling with a third…D-major is currently my worst enemy), my fingertips feel as if they are burning and I still am not getting it right
Goddess but I forgot how frustrating it is to start at the beginning.
But I am not going to give up on this dammit. I want to do this. I haven’t really wanted to do something just for the sake of doing it in a really long time. I haven’t been excited about learning something in a very long time. I am not going to let this be another one of those things that I “almost” did.
When I first mentioned that I was going to learn guitar, many people assumed (I suppose naturally so), that I was only doing it because Amras plays guitar himself. Allow me to clarify something: this has nothing to with Amras. He bought me the guitar yes, which is fantastic, but he would be just as happy if I hung that guitar in a shadow case and never laid a finger on it. He bought me the guitar because he knew how badly I wanted it, how much that particular instrument went “hey, I think I’m supposed to go home with you”, and that’s where that part of it ended.
My actually trying to learn to play? That’s mine. That’s coming from several places, and only one of them is that I cannot bear to have an instrument in the house that isn’t played because no instrument deserves to just hang on a wall. The other reasons are more personal: no one in my close family has ever played guitar (save for my Uncle, who was actually a close family friend, not a relative -and even then, he played acoustic), I am not doing this for anyone, or because of anyone. This is mine, just mine.
This? This is something I am taking up just because I want to. Because I can. And because for once I want to be able to prove myself that I can actually follow through on something. And because there are only two real instruments in the world where if you can sing and play you are almost guaranteed work: one is piano, the other is guitar.
I keep reminding myself of that, especially when my fingertips are almost too sore to type..
Damn D chord…
With a passion like that burning in your head, heart and fingers, I am sure you will stick at it until the playing brings you pleasure, one chord at a time.