I swore I would never go back. I really did. And I haven’t. Not really. But I made a promise, and promises are something I keep.
So this morning’s embark day of this particular Grand Voyage found me in the library….
At least this time I was only training the new girl. Head Office must have realized that running a grand voyage without someone behind the library desk was an exercise in futility for all concerned. Since I was once almost the most senior librarian the fleet had, my current supervisor asked me if I would please train the girl they were bringing in at least enough that she wasn’t eaten completely alive. My supervisor is a pretty awesome guy, and he’s been very good to me, so I said yes. Also, it never hurts to stock up a few brownie points, since he does also make our IPM schedule after all.
I did most of the technical prep work during wet dock: fixing the computer (I don’t know how it is that the catalogue system got THAT broken but at least I was able to repair it, though it took me an hour), ordering and scheduling all the quizzes, reprinting and recreating the handover manual (which had been deleted, again, not sure how that happened)…when embark day rolled around all I had to do was sit down and teach her.
Which would have been a lot easier if there weren’t already two guests waiting for us demanding solutions to internet problems. Not even willing to wait until the actual trainee showed up.
I’m sorry ma’am this really isn’t my area…
But they sent me to you.
Thankfully I was able to figure out the problem. But my heart kicked into overdrive, and I could feel my head starting to swim. Amras happened to be there, dropping off some paperwork, and he saw what he thought was anger, but it wasn’t. I explained that later: not anger, fear. Fear plain and simple. Fear that I would get sucked back into this again, fear that I was still very good at it, fear that it wouldn’t let me go.
Thankfully though, the new girl is awesome, and has a very good handle on the position already, and has already done some fill ins in the past. She’s got her training wheels mostly off and doesn’t appear close to drowning, so I am safe to go back to my computers and my set hours and closed doors.
Because here they come, ready or not!