I came to an odd conclusion yesterday when I was sitting in my cabin with Strange slung over my shoulder, cursing my clumsy fingering as I edged my way through One Tin Solider: I am at a stage where I am stopping practicing because there are “more important things to do”. This is not something I want to get stuck in, but it’s a mindset that I recognize – you put off doing what you love doing because it feels selfish to indulge in it.
Foolishness really.
So I am doing my best to get away from that.
Yesterday, I promised I would play my single song for Amras. I was exceedingly nervous about this, because I have never played anything for anyone else before. I did manage it, though with a great deal more fumbling that usual. But once I relaxed a bit and stopped worrying about the fact that someone was watching me, the chords started coming easier.
See, you’re doing great! Definite improvement! I’m proud of you!
Thanks…
From there, I sat and played while he called out different chord combinations, without telling me at first what those chords were for once they were all put together. As a result of this really fun little exercise (and no that isn’t sarcasm, it was really fun, there were lightbulbs going off in my head as I started to hear things properly), I can now start to fumble my way through the beginnings of a series of 50s/60s songs, and even the beginning of Pachelbel’s Cannon (okay, that one was kind of a cheat as One Tin Solider’s opening is the first three chords of said classical piece).
Moreover, my fingers don’t hurt anymore, and they are starting to do what I tell them to do without my constantly having to think about it, at least on some chord changes. F-Chord to C is still a problem, and D still hates me, but others are coming much more easily.
I was, I’ll admit, a little leery about bring Strange with me, it’s an extra bag after all and extra hassle with airline restrictions and luggage check (she’s going to have to go in an overhead bin when the time comes, which means upgrade fees etc etc) but now? I don’t think I’ll ever consider leaving her behind. Having something to work on, something that’s just mine, that I can have palpable progress on, that makes me laugh and gives me an outlet I honestly haven’t had in a very long time (I can’t exactly sing on the ship, and while I am a dancer, there’s seldom anyone on board for me to dance with casually), is worth any amount of extra problems…