Hopes, Wishes, and Real Magic – Walt Disney World Magic Kingdom, Florida – [01/16/2018]

You knew you were getting these
No I didn’t. I hoped…but I didn’t know

~ Some Kind of Wonderful

There are some moments that you think you are prepared for, that you prepare for because you think you’re supposed to, but deep down you don’t believe they will ever really happen at all – not to you.

Then when they actually do…all the careful reactions you’re dreamed up or rehearsed go completely out of your head, and all you are able to do is squeak..and… exist. That’s it, just exist, in a bubble.

So here’s what really happened at the end of our day in Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom.

The end of the day always comes, and when it comes to leaving a Disney park, it makes me sad. An odd kind of sad; a very specific kind of sad, it makes me distant and not exactly edgy just…away. Amras can spot of course, most close to me can, even – or perhaps especially – when I’m trying to pretend it isn’t happening.

We had one fastpass left, for Buzz Lightyear, so we were on our way to Tomorrowland; and the easiest way to get there from where we were was across the bridge that runs between Cinderella’s Castle and the Tomorrowland main gate. The bridge has concrete benches running along the sides, and we were sitting (or rather he was sitting, I was standing) looking out over the Tomorrowland waterway. I was…half there. But I was determined not to let being mopey ruin the rest of the evening. It was only 5:50 in the evening, the park doesn’t close until 8, there was still time. So I start to stand up from where I had been leaning against the edge of the bridge…

Okay, let’s go shoot some aliens.

Amras took his time getting up, at least, that’s what I thought was happening…at first…

Okay, we can go shoot aliens he says…

But then he doesn’t get up. He gets down…by the time I had fully turned back around, he was down on one knee. It’s sunset, in the Magic Kingdom, the Castle is starting to glow behind me, Tomorrowland is stretching ahead of me… and Amras is on one knee in front of me, holding out a sapphire ring

…but you’re going to have to marry me first.

You think you’re going to have the perfect comeback. The perfect thing to say. That you’re going to be the one that doesn’t cry. Let me clear that up: it doesn’t work that way. All I could do was sit there, and for a second I couldn’t say anything, couldn’t do anything…

….What?!?!..

Here, at the entrance to the future, I want you to know that I don’t want any of my tomorrow’s to not have you in them. And we’ll go on lots of adventures and do lots of crazy fun things, but I want to do them together. Shaughnessy, will you please be my wife?

I don’t remember what came next. I really don’t. I remember being a little short of breath, and having a moment where everything just…stopped. One of those “this is really happening” moments that you hear about in the movies. I couldn’t speak, the words wouldn’t come, all I could do was clap both hands to my mouth and nod…I think I did say “yes” but it was so breathless I barely even heard myself say it…

But there it was, shining on my left-hand ring finger.

That evening we stood in the throngs of people bathed in the light of the fireworks, Amras behind me, with his arms wrapped tightly around me. If anyone had told me ten years ago that I would have been standing watching the most amazing fireworks display my heart had ever seen, with the light catching off of diamonds and sapphires on my ring finger…I would have told them that I was far too grown up for fairy tales…that things like that don’t happen in real life.

But that night, when Tink flew, it was as if that pixie dust really was just for me….

This isn’t a fairy tale. Fairy tales are pretty on the page, but they don’t translate to real life, this is …love. This is work, and joy and pain and rollercoaster rides and challenges and recoveries and a dozen other things, love is many things, but easy isn’t one of them….and a fairy tale it isn’t…not in the conventional sense. I may be in love, but I’m not starry-eyed, and I’m not foolish…

But…

But…

Oh my goodness I’m engaged…