As Paul is carried to the hospital, out of dancing for now, perhaps forever, Zach turns to the remaining auditionees and asks them what they would do if they were faced with the same situation, if this was the day they had to stop performing forever? Unabashed, Merallis steps forward and answers for all with What I Did For Love
Whenever the piano bar entertainer is someone I know, there is a chance I will find the microphone thrust into my hands. Whenever I step into the piano bar, I do it with that thought in the back of my head – I am many things these days: teacher, partner, wife, crewmember…but at the heart of it all, I’m still a performer, and I am always prepared to step back into that, always.
But when the pianist in question is already three-quarters of the way through his set, and already has the rapport he needs with the crowd, I’m equally prepared to just stand at the back of the room and clap along with everyone else. Stryker is a friend after all, one I haven’t seen in a long time, and I always try to support my friends.
And then, just as I was about to leave (mostly because I needed food), he looks at me, points to me, points to the microphone, and beckons…
Uh oh
Despite being mentally prepared for it, I’m never really comfortable with being called up, it always feels awkward somehow, but I go. I always go.
So, this is not planned, as you can tell by her reaction…
This was a surprisingly quiet crowd for the piano bar, there wasn’t a lot of upbeat going on, and so at first I was going to push for my standard – “Cabaret, Key of C, original tempo, with the verse” – but…it didn’t feel right. I hemmed and hawed for a minute, and told him my backup, and then he asked the crowd which they would rather here, and it was unanimous.
So..A Chorus Line it was…
What I Did For Love is not a love song. Not in the traditional sense, I’ve said that before and I will hold to it forever. What I Did For Love is a lament, a lament from someone who knows they will never perform again, who knows that they have to leave all of that behind them, and who still manages to do it with a smile for what was, and hope for what will be. It has absolutely nothing to do with romance. It has to do with the kind of passion for what you do that allows to let go of it at the same time that you desperately hang on to every last moment of it.
It’s a piece I have a very very hard time singing, that on occasion rips my heart to pieces… and that I also sing very well. Possibly because of everything that’s behind it.
And that I hadn’t sung in about four years.
Remember, Stryker said, I’ll follow you
Right…
And you could see the hesitation in the audience, because I’m an unknown factor, you never know what’s going to happen when there’s a stranger at the mic, but when I took a breath, and hit the first note…the first wave of applause broke.
Gone, love is never gone
As we travel on, love’s what we remember
Kiss today goodbye and point me tow’rd tomorrow.
We did what we had to do…
And in that moment, there was no audience, there was no one else in that room. There was just me, and the fact that I haven’t done a show in 9 years, that my character shoes are collecting dust, that I’m out of town for every audition…but that this is still who I am. I can still do this. I can still make people feel something…
I can still come home…
And I can’t regret what I did for love….
Wow! Glad you got to sing!