Live the Life You Choose – Victoria, BC – [07/22/2021]

Just tonight I stood before the tavern
Nothing seemed the way it used to be
In the glass I saw a strange reflection
Was that lonely woman really me?
[…]

Oh my friend we’re older but no wiser
For in our hearts our dreams are still the same
Those were the days my friend…

I haven’t written a lot lately I know. I’ve been quiet. I wonder at this point if I really have any readers left but hey…I’ll write anyway. And that’s not really intended to sound melancholy. Well, not really.

This last year (or is it a year and a half?) has had all of us growing up very very fast. Even those of us that were already supposed to be grown up. In some ways I have had too much change to write about and in some ways I’ve had…nothing to say. What do you say when you’re used to writing about crazy adventures that even included swimming with sharks?

But here’s the thing: You know how often I’ve said that life is an adventure? That’s something this last year has taught me with a very firm hand. And the thing about adventures? They are not always fun and easy. If they were, well….that wouldn’t be very adventurous would it?

What I mean is…anyone can have an adventure when you’re travelling the world and rubbing shoulders with famous people in the buffet lineup. When every day is different and every morning brings a new city and a new place to explore. I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss that terribly. Some days I miss it more than I can bear. But more often now…I look out at the water across the street and I smile a little, and tear up a little…and am nothing but grateful for the time out there that I had, and the way those waves shaped me…and how, eventually, whether I was ready for it or not. They brought me home. And I stare a little while longer…and then I turn around. I turn around and go inside to explore the adventure in the life I have now. The husband that loves me, the unpredictable craziness that we are going through (which yes, for those of you who know all the details is definitely an adventure I would prefer to soon take a different course). The joy that I take in the job that I have now. The plans for the future may not be what we expected, and it sure as hell isn’t easy but…I’m still me.

These  days, the joy in my life comes from seeing the people I love, who I went for such a long time without seeing. It comes from the smiling faces in my tour groups, and from the warm weight of a puppy in my lap at work (Freya how I love that job). It comes from having someone to come home to. From having a garden to plant and a home to look after. From browsing bargain bookstore tables and falling asleep while watching reruns of 60s sitcoms. It comes from actually starting to get clients who want to pay me for the stitching hobby I’ve had for years.

It comes from finding the little bits of light in a world that yes – is really oh so very dark sometimes.

All of that may not be much to write home about – or to write here about – but it remains an adventure none the less. And it is anything but a predictable one.

So just because I’m quiet, don’t think that I’m gone. And please don’t disappear altogether. These pages may not contain the wanderings they once did…

But really…and I know how many times I have said it before…to live continues to be an awfully big adventure.

Keep on fighting.

And remember, even in the midst of the fight…babies you’ve got to be kind.