When it’s time to leave your home
And your loved ones
It’s the hardest thing a girl can ever do
And you pray that you will find
Something warm and sweet and kind
But you’re not sure what’s waiting there for you
~ In Seattle
They say you know when the time comes. They say that the universe tosses you opportunities and if you aren’t smart enough to grasp them then you simply remain where you are…gilded handcuffs, stay safe and all that.
I never thought the time would come when I would even consider leaving ships. I figured I was out here for at least another two years (that’s how much longer I have on the principle of my student loan), if only because the alternative was going back to waiting tables and packing hardware supplies and I just couldn’t do that to myself again. After all, I do love it out here, and I’m very very good at my job. I’ve carved out a life on the waves, and I was pretty sure that life was going to do me for a while.
But things change, things shift, and life is never quite what you expect it to be.
It’s long been a running joke that I would possibly survive in the Corporate Office. With the exception of needing to formalize my often over-casual communication skills, I have a good head for networking and I’m decent at dealing with people. The idea of moving to Head Office was first pitched to me a few years ago, and laughed off, because I would never leave the fleet. But then there were changes announced – changes that are going to effect my whole job, and with those changes a new position opened up in the Corporate Office. A job that encompasses a large portion of what I already do – plus a steep learning curve to pick up the other necessary skills, but a job that everyone who’s seen the description (which was sent to me yesterday) has said has me written all over it.
I spent yesterday collecting names for references and gaining interview and communication tips from Toffy – who is, thankfully, no longer in Entertainment and is therefore able to advise me neutrally, because I can’t ask anyone in my own department at the corporate level for advice without risking negatively impacting my application by looking ignorant. I can relax that a little bit with my current supervisor as she has already told me she will have no input into the process since the position in question would be her peer reporting to the same manager, hence it’s considered a conflict of interest. Still, in a process like this, only someone outside the department is truly safe to confide in.
If I am granted an interview – and that is far from a sure thing – I will still be advising them that I am not available until the end of my next contract, as I have been committed to that for some time and I want to follow it through. That may or may not make a difference on how things proceed from that point; but it’s something I wouldn’t feel right not acknowledging.
I also had long talks – as in all day long – with various people about this, because it’s not just my life that will be affected if I go shore-side. I’ve long talked about putting my feet on solid ground, but it was just talk until this opened itself up. This is big girl stuff, this is settle-down-buy-a-house stuff, and that means sacrifices and priorities. One of the blessed things about the Pack is that they all insist that I put myself as first priority, and allow everything else to follow suit. That’s not always an easy thing for me, but in this case I had to agree with them that it may end up being necessary.
This is serious stuff, this is settle down get a condo go 9-5 stuff. It means giving up a lot to – I hope – gain a lot.
It’s also all spec at the moment, because I haven’t even got the interview, and if it goes two weeks without my hearing anything I’ll assume that I’m meant to stay where I am. And even if I do get an offer, I’m far from 100% sure that it’s something I actually want to follow through with.
But…at least…at least this time I’m getting on the plane so to speak.