I feel like I’m going to throw up
Now you are NOT going to be sick!
Not if I faint first!
~ Victor Victoria
Or
Just like a boxer in a title fight
You’ve got to walk in that ring all alone
You’re not the only one to make mistakes
But they’re the only thing that you can truly call your own
~ Billy Joel, Second Wind
I do not do so great with auditions, or interviews of any kind. Especially important ones, and there’s a lot potentially riding on this interview that I have in three and a half hours. I wish there was a way I could just skip the next few hours and have it be over and done with.
I just never know how to prepare for these things. You’re supposed to be all saavy and know what to ask and what to say …heck you’re supposed to know what you want! I have no idea what I want! Every time I think I’ve made up my mind, it changes itself again, or decides it’s really not sure.
I’m better with auditions than I am with interviews really. Auditions well, they’re not you. I mean yes, you’re up on that stage prostrating yourself in front of the director and begging for a job, but it’s also whatever character your monologue is, whatever tone your song is…you have stuff to hide behind. You have hours and days and years of training to hide behind. With a normal job interview? All you have is yourself. And sometimes I’m not that good a shield to hide myself behind.
Of course, in the hours leading up to the interview, I still have to do my actual job, which is proving to be somewhat difficult as I’m about as focused as a golden retriever puppy. Which is to say not very much. I think I have butterflies in my stomach the size of dragons…or semi-trucks…