Every so often this job provides situations that the best writers couldn’t create, or , if they did – they would toss it out as “no, no one would ever buy that”. For example, this evening my boss calls me:
Shaughnessy speaking how may I –
Hey sweetie, I need a really big favor
What’s up?
Could you get the internet manager to look up music stores in Juneau? It’s urgent
So I dutifully pass on the information and run it down to the office. My first thought is that something has happened in the show, since that’s where most of the injuries happen. Plus the show was being backed by the party band that night, so my mind is racing with whether or not a dancer has fallen into the pit, or onto a guitarist, or one of the musicians has hurt themselves on the set. Etc etc. But the answer I got when I asked what had happened was not remotely what I expected:
We need a cello. A guest fell on the cello and destroyed it.
Someone fell on the cello. FELL ON IT.
I know I shouldn’t have laughed. It’s really not funny, not even close to funny. I can’t actually imagine the pain of losing an instrument. It must be like losing an arm. I’m fortunate in that I carry my instrument around with me, as long as I take care not to get strep throat, and I don’t do something stupid like take up smoking, my voice isn’t really in a great deal of danger. The replacement cost of a good cello? Oh, probably the cost of a car. As of this morning there was nothing that we could do about it…
That said, I still don’t think I’d believe it if I saw the situation in a movie…
The only place the situation would be be believable is in old slapstick, like Chaplin or Abbott & Costello, maybe Marx. But that would be it.
The thing is, it’s really SO far from funny. It was her own personal instrument, had belonged to her grandmother – and was worth about $30,000 her living is essentially destroyed…
someone fell on the CELLO!! That’ PRICELESS I bet the strings were pissed though.
I mean it’s not funny for the cellist, but in an it’s not my ship so I don’t have to deal with it way I find it very funny.
that you sis? ‘Cause I only know one Mary…
Yeah, exactly m’dear it’s not your ship! But it’s true that I laughed…a lot actually….