Made For Leaving – [Juneau 08/31/2011]

“She said: ‘you’re a rambler-man, you ain’t never gonna change. You’ve got a gypsy’s soul to blame and you were made for leavin’”

I look out the window on nights like this, and I see my reflection staring back at me in the darkness and I wonder what it’s like to have a home that doesn’t move.  What it’s like to stay in one place, with one person, with one situation, to work a job that doesn’t take me from place to place and time to time. From self to self.

I wonder if that’s what I want.

I realize that it isn’t.

People often ask when I caught the travel bug. It wasn’t as young as when I got bitten by show business –that happened before I was even born –  no I remember very clearly when I realized that I just wanted to pack up and go, to see what was on the next side of the next hill and not look back. I was 26 and I had just moved to England (the first time). I took a weekend trip to Bath, and I stayed at a hostel with not much more than the clothes on my back. I was walking across the bridge (listening to ‘step in time’ from the Broadway version of Mary Poppins, why I remember that I don’t know, but I can’t hear that song without instantly being walking down that street again) –and I had this sudden urge to just keep walking. To not get on the train back to college the next day. To just up and leave, and see if anyone would notice – not knowing where I wanted to end up, or how I would get there – just wanting to go.

I’m sure one day it will wear off. One day I know I’ll want the white picket fence and the two and a half children (as an aside, how does one have a half a child? How does that statistic even work?) – but I don’t know when. There are still things to see, still places to go, still hills I haven’t explored the other side of.

One day maybe I’ll have seen everything…

Until then, I guess I remain made for leaving.

Bright blessings,

Shaughnessy

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0 Responses to Made For Leaving – [Juneau 08/31/2011]

  1. YLM says:

    just remember ‘home’ is where the cookies are 😛

  2. …And brownies and Chocolate Cheesecake!

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