When you fire that first shot, no matter how right you feel, you don’t know who’s going to die ~ Dr Who
You think you know what it is to feel helpless. And then suddenly something massive happens, and you realize you really had no idea at all.
Amras and I have dear friends on both sides of this horror. Most, thank heavens, are safely out on contracts. But not all.
But that’s not what this is really about.
I’ve never understood war. I still don’t. You can explain to me a dozen times over why this is happening, and I still won’t understand it. Perhaps I’m too naïve, perhaps there is always the part of me that’s still that little girl standing in the mud at the Cenotaph, trying to figure out…why? Why do people have to go out and kill each other? Just…why. To this day, no one has an answer for me.
You can explain to me a million times over why no one seems willing to help a country that has done nothing except try to join an alliance that was within their rights to want to join. People are saying it was because they had figures in government that leaned towards a certain despised political party ; and for all I know that may be true – but look anywhere in the world and you will find people with those leanings in positions of power. Heck, even look in Canada and you will find it. It’s tragic, and sickening but it’s sadly not uncommon. So why them? You can tell me it’s about resources…and I’ll ask again…why them? Is not peaceful trade for those resources an option? You can tell me that lending military aid will bring about WW3, and I will believe you, and the thought terrifies me because yes I know what that would mean…but that will not make me feel any less guilt ridden about them being left to die
The old song says “what is it good for? Absolutely nothing”…and I can’t help but side with that.
When you have civilians being forced to take up arms to try and fend off an army that is so very much bigger and stronger than they are. When musicians are putting down violins and picking up rifles…because no one else will help them. There has to be something wrong with that. Can’t you see there something wrong?
And then there’s me. This one little person in Canada who is looking at people on all sides saying “well if you’re so worried go and do something about it”…who has no money, no useful talents to lend, who isn’t even sure if she can give blood to the red cross…who is stuck just standing here, thinking of that one dear friend who may or may not get out through Poland…
Who is just standing here with the mental equivalent of her best shoes sliding in the mud of the Cenotaph and crying…
Because still…no one can explain to her why…