Can’t Say A Word – At Sea – [01/21/2014]

Posted on January 23, 2014 by GypsyShaughnessy

 SCARY-LITTLE-MERMAIDCan’t call to mom
Can’t say a word
Yer gonna die screaming but you won’t be heard ~ Buffy “Hush”

Yes, a terrible somewhat disturbing quote I know. What can I say, it’s from Buffy. It’s also apt.

If there’s one sense I value more than almost all the others it’s definitely my voice. I detest being forced into silence, and suddenly silence has swooped in on me – unannounced and definitely unwanted. I’ve had a cold the last few days, but the sore throat that went with it had pretty much completely cleared up – when I was running tendering this morning I my voice was clear as a bell. Then suddenly this afternoon it just…disappeared. I can force it to kind of work (though it doesn’t sound pretty) but that’s horrible for my vocal chords and I refuse to damage them, so the only thing I can manage is a very airy whisper. I can barely make myself heard, but anything above that is just not worth it.

The funny thing is there’s absolutely no pain, it doesn’t hurt to swallow, my throat isn’t raspy, in fact I feel perfectly fine my voice is just…gone. As if someone has reached in and stolen it.

Now I don’t mind not being able to talk – though it does make doing my job difficult (though the sign I have up at my desk stating “the Librarian has mislaid her voice, please excuse her silence” does probably help a bit) – but the thing is, this isn’t just my talking voice.

I can’t sing.

At all.

As in not even a note, not even a hum. Nothing. When I say silence, I mean completely silence.

I FEEL LIKE I’M TRAPPED IN MY OWN BRAIN!!!!

Please voice, please please come back, I’ve always tried to treat you well, please don’t abandon me now…

Addendum: Dinner was kind of funny, because I really can’t speak more than a whisper (and shouldn’t even be doing that because whispering still strains your vocal cords) – I was writing everything down and the co-worker I was eating with was responding normally to whatever I wrote.

This can go down on the list of ‘strange conversations I have had”

Yes she says yes it can.

 

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Once in a Lifetime – Easter Island – [01/21/2014]

Posted on January 23, 2014 by GypsyShaughnessy

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAThere are some things, even with my amazing life, that you just think you’re never going to get a chance to see. There are ports where you just know you aren’t going to be able to get off the ship – usually from previous experience. On the World Cruise, there’s just one port like that, one port that the crew has almost always seen from afar and never set foot on because it’s just too hard to get into.

Easter Island.

Except today. Today, by some incredible stroke of luck, the weather gods co-operated with us, presenting us with a sea so smooth that the tenders were able to navigate it with nary a bump (well comparatively for this area, “smooth” is a relative term), between that and a tender operation that ran better than anything I’ve seen in four seasons on the flagship – we were granted nothing short of a miracle for this port: two, hour long windows, of crew shore leave.

Not meaning that we could only stay off the ship for an hour at a time, those windows were just so that we could leave the ship, once we were over there we could stay as long as we wished as long as we were back to work on time. The thing was – more the fool I – in the confidence that we are never allowed off here, I had actually taken IPM, along with the Hostess; which makes me more grateful than ever that I have a good team here, because as soon as they were asked, our teammates stepped in and covered us, and we were able to meet up on shore, hail a taxi and head out through the truly isolated countryside.

And I really do mean isolated. There’s only one town on Easter Island, and once you get beyond its boundaries there’s nothing but dry grass and the kind of rolling, thrashing waves that you think only exist in the movies. Herds of horses and cows roam the fields with no one in sight to tend them, they simply amble along the sides of the road, occasionally stopping the traffic altogether. Truly beautiful horses though, at first I wasn’t sure if they were wild or not, but considering they weren’t at all skittish I suspect they must have belonged to someone somewhere on the island.

Really, the cost of the taxi would have been worth it for the trip along the coastline. You just never see nature like that – or at least you see it so rarely that sometimes you stop thinking it even exists anymore.

But we did of course have an ultimate destination. I mean, what else do you go to Easter Island for?

Words can’t really describe the Moi, they are so immense and so austere that you somewhat lose the power of description in the sight of them. You just…stare. And then belatedly remember that yes you do have a camera with you, and you should probably use it because you’ll likely never get another chance.

When I was in Italy, I spoke of wondering what statuary would say if it could speak, nowhere is that thought more prominent than here. No one even truly knows where the Moai came from, though there are many many theories – it’s almost impossible to imagine what they have witnessed. Perhaps it’s because of them that the energy of this place seems to wipe you clean, to give you the feeling that you’re somehow getting a fresh start. Some people may not see it that way, but for me? Today is definitely one of those days that somehow changes the way you see everything else.

 

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Waterlogged – At Sea – [01/20/2014]

Posted on January 23, 2014 by GypsyShaughnessy

drop design mermaid models shirt sakimichan 1024x1154 wallpaper_www.wall321.com_30There are times when I look at my job and go “huh?”. Like today, when the Youth Staff programmer and I were standing in the poolside restroom filling up water balloons from the automatic faucet. And managing to get ourselves drenched in the process (seriously do you know how difficult it is to fill a water balloon from an automatic sink faucet? I dare you to try it sometime and not end up soaked.)

Times like this you really feel like you have the world’s strangest job.

The water balloons were for the first pool party of the season, which – miraculously – did not end up with the whole team jumping in the pool. I swear it’s because this time I prepared for it and wore a bathing suit under my uniform. There’s only so many times you can jump in the pool in full uniform and not learn your lesson!

There was, however, an impromptu water balloon fight between myself and two other team members after the guests finished with the water balloon toss game. That is to say, there was a water balloon fight until the cruise director caught us at it and told us to quit it (okay so even we’re not allowed to get away with everything).

Somehow, however, I still managed to end up soaked, probably because I was helping with said guest water balloon toss, which involved being up to my ankles in the pool handing water balloons to people and attempting to avoid falling in by accident.

Yes, yes I have a weird job…I am aware of this….

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Soldiering On – At Sea – [01/16/2014]

Posted on January 18, 2014 by GypsyShaughnessy

High-Tech-Retro-Pin-Ups-3Despite the fact that I’m good with technology and the guests keep complimenting me on my patience with working them through all this – I’m discovering more and more that I don’t like technology. Except adventure computer games and candy crush…neither of which I consider essential to my mental and physical well-being.

These days I would be just as happy to go back to the days of postcards, stamps and letters tied with ribbon and tucked in the attic to be found by non-existent grandchildren.

The worst that could happen to a letter is it got lost in the post – they never ‘broke’ per say. Just did the real world equivalent of getting ‘stuck in the clacks’ (for the Terry Prachett fans among my readers).

These days some computer chip goes down somewhere and wham, you’re totally without connection to the outside world.

*sigh* it’s a problem…

Give me an art museum, or a cathedral, or a book with good description any day. Or better yet, someone pour me a glass of really good Italian red…

Or failing all that…maybe just get me a flak jacket with the words “Don’t mess with the Librarian” (Jasper Fforde reference there, and if you haven’t read those books you really should) blazed across the back 😉

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Return to Llama-land – Callao, Peru – [01/14/2014]

Posted on January 18, 2014 by GypsyShaughnessy

139O0260CWaitingintheCourtyard48x17Come fly with me let’s float down to Peru
In llama land there’s a one man band and he’ll toot his flute for you

Having allowed myself to be far too much of a hermit this contract (seriously I’ve left the ship once) I somewhat forced myself to head into town today, especially since I’d not gotten off the ship the last time I was here, and kind of kicked myself for. I mean really, how often do you get to say you’ve been to Peru? Wait…I guess I shouldn’t answer my own question on that one.

Anyway, it was a 45 minute shuttle ride into the city, and there’s no other option but that shuttle as the port city itself is simply too risky. Even the locals don’t walk the streets near the ship – apparently in that area it’s not a question of whether you’ll get mugged just a question of when. So…shuttle it was. As will surprise no one who knows me even remotely well, I fell asleep on the shuttle ride out (honestly, that’s why I don’t drive, I cannot stay awake in moving vehicles, and that’s a rather terrifying concept when one is behind a wheel!) – but I pulled myself back to reality just as we were about to be dropped off, which is a good thing, because otherwise I would have ended up back at the port which would have defeated the point.

The shuttle dropped us off at Meyelfloures, which had the most interesting concept for a mall that I’ve yet seen. When you look across the street you see nothing but the sea, but when you walk over to railings and look over the edge, below you is a three story outdoor mall. Impressive really. You can’t see even the top of a store from the street.

Seeing almost instantly that I wasn’t going to find the multicoloured sneakers I had my mind set on (I’m convinced that those are in the market I couldn’t get to today and I have people looking out for them tomorrow), I was content enough to just amble in the sunshine and people watch. I’m trying very hard to save money this contract (see the entry about California if you want to guess why) so unless something jumps up and down on top of my head (er…metaphorically speaking) and screams ‘take me home’ well, I wasn’t about to buy anything.

I stayed awake on the shuttle ride home – amazing I know – and was able to see a bit more of the rest of the city; what’s outside the glistening statuary and clean streets of the main district.

It’s always an eye-opener, no matter how many times I see it.

As the bus rumbled by the shabby tired-looking buildings and dust-choked cluttered streets I found myself thinking of that day in Puerto Rico, when Amras and I stood with our water bottles leaning on a wall looking over what could only be called the worst part of town. Saying little, just…staring…and thinking…

That’s how over half the world lives Sis…

Yeah…how lucky are we?

How lucky are we…

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Gone Country …Again – Lima, Peru – [01/14/2014]

Posted on January 18, 2014 by GypsyShaughnessy

country girl Pin-up4One or two theme nights are standard in every cruise, and the World Cruise is certainly no exception. There was a time when I didn’t know how to line dance, but now…? Now not so much.

One nice thing about line dance night or country night (they do more than one) out here is that you get to wear jeans in public areas, something that is normally strictly against the house rules – especially since my country night jeans have holes worn in them. I should really get rid of them, but it’s so rare to find a pair of jeans that looks good on me, and these ones still do, even if they’re all worn out.

Of course…it tends to get strange looks from people who have no idea that there’s a theme event going on tonight. For which I can’t really blame them since one doesn’t really expect a line dancing night during an overnight in Peru. I’m not quite sure how those two things ended up going together, but then again I’m so far from in charge of that kind of thing…

Unlike on the other ships I’ve worked, when the flagship does line dancing they do it old-style…which is a shame, because I am much better at the so called ‘new age’ line dances (as anyone who has seen me do the Wobble will attest) but at least I have the outfit for it…

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Silver Shimmers – At Sea – [01/13/2014]

Posted on January 18, 2014 by GypsyShaughnessy

why-do-men-like-a-chase-300During one of the formal nights on my summer ship I looked down at one of the silver slippers I was just about to put on, and my roomie had to ask me why I was laughing. I held up the shoe and pointed to a tiny black top-hat stuck to the inside.

Where did that come from?

Probably the last Black and Silver Ball on the flagship

I think that top hat is still there. And now there’s probably more than one. The top hat is of course the result of the fanci-fetti that we still sprinkle all over the floor for the grand balls here. I wasn’t certain we’d be doing it this season – since the concept was the brainchild of our previous CD who has since moved on to bigger and better things – but when I closed up the office and made my way down to the ballroom I was greeted with the traditional sight of glitter everywhere, including in all the elevators and on every stair tread leading to and from the ballroom. Deposited by the hems of ladies’ dresses and the soles of wingtip shoes (not that anyone on board is actually wearing wingtips, but it makes for a fun visual.)

The ball itself went off without a hitch. Due to various scheduling requirements I wasn’t involved in decorating this time (which I’m sure I will make up for on the next one), so I was given the chance to get the full impact of the room’s transformation; which is quite something really, every so often I forget just how good the team is at stuff like this. Even though there’s been so many drastic changes in the team this year we still work the same.

This was the first season I didn’t wear a proper full length ballgown to the first ball of the season; although I had one hanging on the back of the door ready to go it just wasn’t a full-length kind of evening. So I wore my magic off the shoulder dress instead; which proved to be the right choice as it turned out and meant I didn’t have to change for my requisite turn around the after party (hard to believe there was a time when I didn’t know the electric slide 😉 ).

You’ve probably gathered that this hasn’t been the easiest contract so far, and some of you know the reasons behind that (they’re really out of my control and there’s hope that they’ll reach some kind of resolution soon), but I will say that a few Cinderella hours helped a little bit..

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Liar, Liar! – At Sea – [01/09/2014]

Posted on January 12, 2014 by GypsyShaughnessy

LiarYesterday afternoon the phone rang during my break, which is rare, because people don’t usually call me in my cabin on this ship, especially since I don’t have a roomie (since, to be honest, most people who call my call looking for my various roommates) – unless it’s my co-librarian who needs to check on something during shift, my phone usually stays silent. So imagine my surprise when it not only rings, but the caller ID reads “Cruise Director”.

My first instinct is that I had forgotten to be somewhere and this was a reminder call, but no that’s not what it was.

Hey Shaughnessy, was wondering if you’d be interested in doing tomorrow night’s game show – we need a third for Call My Bluff.

Is that the one that’s basically live Balderdash?

Yup.

Okay, I’m in.

Which is how this evening found me sitting between the cruise director and the comedian on stage in the main show lounge, trying earnestly to make the audience believe that impignorate meant “to be caught in a complicated lie outside of court” (it really means to pawn or auction something) and various other shenanigans . There were two things working in my favour (at least when I had the lie, when I had to tell the truth and was trying to get people not to vote for me this worked against me): I am – by trade if not by training – a librarian, people assume I’m hardwired to be a source of reliable knowledge, as a result of this as long as I kept my definitions dry and logical people had no reason not to believe me. And secondly well…I’m an actress.

Silv used to joke that she didn’t dare teach me to play poker, because I could be either the worst player or the best player in the world and you would never know which until it was too late.

I’m pleased to say that in the end it was my definition that had us win out over the audience (and it was a close call, they had to get three right to win, and it came down to one answer to throw the game) – but that was partially because the cruise director’s answer (which was actually the right one) sounded so ridiculous (“Ticklespla: Pigeon Samoan for milk leaking from a cow’s or a goat’s utter” SERIOUSLY???!? That is a real thing in the world!?) that my more logical one seemed obvious.

Let that be a lesson to them: never go for the obvious! HA!

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If You Keep On Believing – At Sea – [01/09/2014]

Posted on January 12, 2014 by GypsyShaughnessy

partnersNearly twenty years ago, I made a wish.

I made it so long ago in fact, that I no longer recall whether I actually made it, or if I made it after the fact and somehow retro-actively imprinted it onto my memory, but it comes to the same thing really.

I was just going on 13 years old when my family last took a vacation; but in some ways that last one was an act of trying to hold ourselves together, looking back – even though we have some great memories of it, it didn’t quite feel right. The last one that ‘felt’ right, was when I was 8, and that’s the one I think of when I search my memory. That’s the one that stands out. That was when we drove down to California, stopping at all kinds of little hotels along the way, it was the trip I went through Winchester Mystery House, and threw a fit weeks later when my parents wanted to go to Alcatraz (long story, I’m pretty sure I explained it in a previous entry)…

Many people make light of the fact that Disneyland is so very dear to me, but those people don’t really understand the why behind it. There’s a very real reason behind my attachment to the park and it’s only partially because of that reason that I’ve been trying to get back for so long. When I was a kid my parents and I spent a lot of time running away from something that we really couldn’t run from; California was our escape, the one place we had where nothing could catch up to us. They bent over backwards to give that to me, and they really couldn’t afford it. In my own personal terminology, Disneyland was the ultimate “Dolly in the Corner”.

What began as a hazy idea in my self-centered childhood mind became a full-fledged determination in early university (Silver will doubtlessly vouch for this), I started contacting travel agents, booking package quotes, anything and everything I could do to get us there – to get us back when we weren’t running. It never worked. Those of you who have seen the movie Up! , I (and eventually my mother as well) was constantly running into situations that caused me to have to smash my own personal “Paradise Falls” jar. Between England and the requirements necessary to start up my shipboard career (medical ain’t cheap) a lot of that failure was my fault, and sometimes I thought I would never forgive myself for it.

But at the years went by, I got more and more determined. There’s not a single member of my little Pack that hasn’t heard dozens of times about ‘Shaughnessy’s ever-planned trip to California’…even Toffy knows about it, and has been on edge trying to book my contracts against it’s possible occurrence for the last three years…

So…

Wipe the resigned smiles off all your faces and replace them with genuine ones…

Because…

WE BOOKED THE TRIP TWO DAYS AGO!!!

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Quiet – Costa Rica – [01/08/2014]

Posted on January 12, 2014 by GypsyShaughnessy

marketplaceThe first port of the season was sky-high temperature wise. Of course I shouldn’t be surprised; we are in Costa Rica after all. That said, one thing I’ve learned in this job is that my tolerance for heat is about the same as my tolerance for cold – that is to say…not so good. So I never go out much in tropical ports unless I only have to walk a few steps to the water (which is why I do so well in the Caribbean).

That said, I was determined to get off the ship for at least a little while, since I didn’t have IPM (a rare occurrence as I purposely take most of my IPMs in the early days of the cruise to get them out of the way) and there was nothing more pressing that X-Files reruns keeping me on the ship. So I spent a pleasant though brief amount of time wandering through the market on the pier where you could purchase everything from baseball caps to butterflies (and I mean that literally, and I would have bought one, except for me butterflies will always be associated with Puerto Rico, and if I’m going to buy one it’s going to come from there. End of story.)

I’ve always been fascinated by street markets, the sights and the sounds of them. It’s odd really, in any other context that much noise and clamour would short me out and send me running, but somehow in the context of a market I can handle it. The trick is not buying anything. This was the first time in ages I’d been to a market and not walked away with (or been forcibly dragged away from) something. I suppose I have a weakness for pretty sparkly things.

But with only $5 in my pocket and no desire to make a draw from my account (I have more important things to save for) I was perfectly content to just amble back to the ship and spend the rest of my afternoon watching Mulder and Scully battle sea monsters.

So I’m occasionally superficial, so what?

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