And why do they always say
Don’t look back?
[…] Don’t hold on to the past
Well that’s too much to ask
9 years ago I walked shaking up the gangway of the flagship, excited and terrified all at once. I didn’t know what I was getting into. I didn’t know that myself and that ship were about to enter a nearly decade long relationship that would have a massive impact on my life .I didn’t even know that walking up that particular gangway with only two contracts under my belt was practically unheard of at that time.
I was just a kid, who figured that going around the world? Sounded pretty amazing.
Who would have known then that I would keep coming back…and back…and back….
5 times, 5 times I circled the world on that ship. 5 times over the horizon and back again. She took me places that I never thought I would reach. She sailed me to Jordan, to Rome, to the Holy Land, through China and to lemurs in Madagascar. She was what I came home to soaking wet in Tokyo on my 30th birthday, and it was her phone lines I nearly wore out when my family was in trouble.
I built almost her entire library from the ground up. I knew every inch of her except for the engine room and the bridge.
I both loved the flagship and hated her. There were many times I felt like I was very good for her, but she wasn’t good for me. That said, she was…in some ways…home. Of all the ships in the fleet, she had a massive part of my heart. I figured she always would. I always thought – before the world erupted into chaos – that one day I would go back to the flagship. My separation from her was always…temporary…
Except, this afternoon I found out that it wasn’t.
Many many companies are selling many many ships to try and get out of this terrible situation. The flagship…my ship… is on the list; she’ll be leaving the fleet in the fall. Before I ever get a chance to walk her decks again.
No ship’s reign lasts forever; but when I got the news this afternoon my heart broke more than a little. It never ever occurred to me that it would come to this.
This evening Amras and I stood and toasted the ocean and thanked her – and the others that are leaving – for the memories, good and bad…they will be missed.
And a little part of my heart…will go with her, wherever she ends up.
Goodbye old girl…