Partial, Potential, Reversion (Don’t Worry It’s Temporary) – Seattle, WA – [09/11/2017]

Posted on September 12, 2017 by GypsyShaughnessy

I was in the main office today organizing some things that need to be done in Seattle whilst we’re in wetdock, and at the same time my boss, Amras, and I were chatting about things that are going to be necessary for the upcoming long voyage. Things like which band plays where and when, how many classes in total are being run, how flexible I can be with my scheduling, things like that.

And as all of this is being discussed, our supervisor – who I know very well from other contracts (in fact, I knew him before he was a supervisor), looks at me somewhat sheepishly and says

Actually, Shaughnessy, the only thing I might have to ask of you is …if they send us a completely rookie librarian…you’re probably going to have train her…

Before the sentence is even out of his mouth I am doubled over laughing. Took a deep breath, paused, laughed again, held up one hand and managed a weak

Sure..

Before turning to Amras and saying

Did I, or did I not, totally call that?

Yup…ya did

And it’s true. I had that very conversation both with my parents and with Amras before I left for this contract, about how I had best not shred my old library files because watch, just watch, I was going to need them.

And round and round and round we go…

As I’ve said before: you can take the girl out of the library, but you can’t take the library out of the girl

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Clearly Jumbled – Victoria, BC – [09/10/2017]

Posted on September 10, 2017 by GypsyShaughnessy

Progress report:

So, today I fumbled my way slowly (I mean really slowly, stopping every few seconds slowly) through the first phrases of a song. A song that only needs three chords, and I am still pretty sure my guitar isn’t tuned quite right so it doesn’t sound like it feels like it’s supposed to…

But my point is, I actually managed to start putting one chord after another and having them make…something that resembled sense?

This is pretty huge, I am really very proud of this accomplishment.

Of course, it wouldn’t sound like anything but a jumble of unrelated notes to anyone other than me – but I can hear the beginnings of a song buried in that jumble.

My left index finger hates me right now, and I am reminded that I need to cut back my nails again but…hey, at least I am making progress. Actual tangible – if darn slow – progress. I always knew after all that this was not going to be an overnight project, much as I would like it to be.

So…

Go me! Yay!

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Backstage – At Sea – [09/09/2017]

Posted on September 10, 2017 by GypsyShaughnessy

The thing with the cruise industry is – much like any other entertainment situation – what you see on the surface is only just a tiny bit of what’s actually going on.

At the moment we are on our second to last cruise in Alaska. The weather is rough, and the passengers every so often rougher. But they’re friendly for the most part. Things are going well.

But behind that we’re all spinning our wheels prepping for what comes next.

After this we have a several-days-long wet dock coming, where a whole bunch of contractors will come on board and we’ll mostly be doing things like restocking the library and troubleshooting the computers (okay that last part will just be me)

And then after that – first thing in October – we start the 80 plus day Asia/Australia/South Pacific voyage. My first time back on a GA since…2014? And my first time back on a Grand voyage at all since 2015. While the scheduling is lighter, the pressure I’m sure I’m putting on myself is higher…I’m nervous. Definitely nervous.

Entering in my schedule to the ship’s computer this afternoon I was suddenly floored with just how much new material I have for this cruise. Being as how it’s so long I am able to stretch my wings a bit and teach a little outside the box, but that also means teaching things I’ve never taught before, material I’ve written myself, that I’ve never had a chance to field test. In some ways this feels like starting the job all over again…

I can do it, I know I can. But I have a feeling I’m going to spending a lot of time the next few days reminding myself of that.

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On Self-Criticism and Small Victories – Homer, Alaska – [09/05/2017]

Posted on September 5, 2017 by GypsyShaughnessy

After a great deal of struggling with myself and a near bout of tears of frustration…I actually have managed to make palpable progress…I can still only reliably finger four chords…at max…

But this afternoon I managed to finger a D-chord, and a clumsy D to A-major switch…without looking at my fret board

Considering I couldn’t even finger a D-chord reliably a week ago, I am going to count this up as a victory.

I am actually more than a little bit proud of myself for this. It’s a small milestone but it’s one that when I was tearing my hair out over just trying to figure out a D-chord I never thought I would reach.

So therefore, small as it is, it totally and utterly counts.

I need to remind myself of that. Frequently.

I am my own worst enemy in this. I know this. I am a horrible self-critic, if I can’t do something ‘properly’ (or perfectly) right away, I have a tendency to want to throw up my hands and walk away thinking it isn’t meant to be. This is one of the reason that I never became a full-fledged Dancer (the capitalization is important) and one of the reasons I remain a bit of a diva about my voice. Guitar? Is the first thing that I’ve picked up without a scrap of knowledge as to where to begin…and at the moment, my own sense of self-critique is definitely working against me…

But hey, I have two chords…one of which I could barely manage before…

And I made a deal…when I got this guitar…not with a person, but with the guitar itself. I honor my deals…not quite sure how I’ll manage that just yet…but I’m going to.

 

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Uniformly Un-uniformed – Anchorage, Alaska – [09/04/2017]

Posted on September 4, 2017 by GypsyShaughnessy

It’s the computer age. Nerds are in! …They…are still in right? ~ Willow Rosenberg

Last cruise I was wearing company greys and feeling for all the world like I’d stepped out of a classic 1940s movie. Don’t get me wrong, the uniform is stylish and it actually looks very pretty on me, I still wear it often after 6 o’clock, but one can only wear a pencil skirt so much before it gets a bit awkward.

We got the new Microsoft issued uniform shirts this home port. Which means that in the ‘blink of a cosmic clock’ (thank you Quantum Leap) my day-to-day look has rather changed.

Out with the grey, in with the geek.

Pair the polo with dress slacks, patterned chuck tailors, brightly coloured themed hair decorations (today’s is Cheshire Cat stripes) and themed socks (which you can’t see because yeah, slacks, but I know they’re there…this afternoon’s were Sailor Moon themed) …ha! All hail to the uber geek.

A job where I get to be in uniform and still actually feel like myself.

Rather a far cry from the drab little mouse who sat behind a desk all day wondering how she was supposed to be smiling all the time.

Yup, I like it here. Yup yup yup.

I actually only realized today that I have added all these little personal touches to my uniform. Don’t make the mistake of thinking I don’t look professional, far from it, most of this is stuff you’ll never notice unless you really are the type to observe little details; and, as I said, I still wear the full formal uniform at night.

Anchorage today provided the Cheshire Cat hair clip, and the Sailor Moon accessories, along with two Disney mini-posters now added to my cabin wall, and a tiny G1 MLP figurine that made me squeal with geeker joy just because it is G1 (trust me, that’s rare). What can I say, Anchorage has a Hot Topic. I have my weaknesses after all.

At least I only got one mystery G1 figurine (which ended up being Sundance, which means I’ll have to go back and get another one, because I really want Firefly…)

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Lucky – At Sea – [09/03/2017]

Posted on September 4, 2017 by GypsyShaughnessy

“For my life, my lover, my Lady is the sea”
~ The Looking Glass ‘Brandy’

I am often quick to correct people who gush about how I have such a glamourous life; quick to shut down people who assume that the job is all sunshine and roses. And my corrections are the truth: most of the time, the job is just a job, like any other. Nine to five (sometimes longer) you get up, you go to work, you come home, you fall into bed…

The seas are rough at the end of the Alaska season, earlier tonight we took the turn into calmer waters so hard that you could hear silverware breaking all over the ship and my television took a header onto the floor (nothing broken thankfully). Things you just don’t have to worry about in a normal non-ship existence. Things that sometimes just make you long for a floor that doesn’t well…move.

But then sometimes, just sometimes…there are nights like tonight.

When I am sitting in the main show lounge among friends watching friends, as the resident casts puts on its crew-only performance of the cheesiest silliest show in their repertoire (“this ‘ere’s the Roadhouse”), complete with changed (and mostly made up dialogue), audience interaction and stagehands who decided to make themselves a hilarious part of the show…

Wait, does he always sing this to the moose?

I’m not actually sure…

Drinking corona out of the bottle and laughing until my ribs hurt and my hands stung from clapping too hard.

Nights like this I realize just how lucky I am, how much of a community we really are…

And that I wouldn’t trade this life for the world.

G’night Neverland.

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Discordant – Icy Strait Point, Alaska – [09/02/2017]

Posted on September 2, 2017 by GypsyShaughnessy

Oh yes, progress report:

Almost a month of not being able to attempt to practice (doctor said that I had to lay of attempting anything while my shoulder got better for two weeks, and then I was without my guitar at all for two weeks during the first cruise of this contract)…what little muscle memory I had begun to develop is…gone

So status report is: Shaughnessy now has to start all over.

Sigh

Half an hour just to even remember how to tune the guitar to itself…

But at least I took that half hour…

And I can remember an E-major chord, and I know logically that from there it’s just a few small steps to get back to the four chords I’d already learned…

And a half hour a day after not playing for a month is a good starting point for now.

One step forward, two steps back and all that jazz…

At least the guitar is in tune…

I think…

 

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Racing Racing Racing – At Sea – [08/29/2017]

Posted on August 30, 2017 by GypsyShaughnessy

Last cruise was really a walk in the park. Super nice for my first cruise of the contract. The thing is, with Alaska cruises, you never have any real idea how things are going to go crowd wise. You’re either going to be super popular, or you’ll be the most overlooked office on the ship – reduced to using your class time to read more novels (yups, have had cruises where that happens! Is because of the long port days).

This cruise, is not shaping up to be that way. This cruise, is shaping up to be one of the busy ones.

20+ people in each class so far the first sea day. Four couples in full size electric scooters that take up the entire aisle and make it rather difficult to zip around helping people (it’s a small room, and the people are super sweet! But it is an awkward situation to say the least)

Three computers without access to the demo account which renders them useless, one instructor laptop that wasn’t left in proper condition to teach with and has to be hotspotted off of one of the guest machines in order to achieve the required internet access, and one guest terminal that won’t launch several applications. Plus, one instructor laptop without the necessary OS updates that render it useful as a backup machine, a personal machine that doesn’t have the HDMI input jack I thought it did when I bought it (my fault there, but thankfully not necessary), and one broken store application that means half of my apps are not getting updated at all..

And a voice that is showing signs of giving out despite my attempting to use as much in the way of theatrical projection technique as I have in my head…

I…am a very busy girl…

Fortunately I like it that way…and it’s a different kind of busy than it used to be. I’m on the move constantly, but believe it or not, I’m not stressed out. Very different from the time I’ve spent on the flagship in the past. She and I are…getting to know each other again so to speak…

And I think, I’m going to be okay with welcoming her back into my life on a more regular basis…

 

Posted in Alaska, Below the waterline, Fall Contracts, Fire & Ice 2017 | 1 Comment

Battle scars – At Sea – [08/15/2017]

Posted on August 15, 2017 by GypsyShaughnessy

Six years ago, something happened. Something big, something ugly. A great big nasty scaly dragon. It bit hard. Really hard. Hard enough (metaphorically) to leave marks.

And I severed its head and proudly displayed it on top of my fireplace. And dammit if a new one grew in it’s place, and here I am, still cutting off heads six years later. Bloody hydras…

Mutter, mutter

But I’m okay with that. I’m okay with that because my sword is still sharp enough to win, to turn in the right direction.

The details don’t matter. Everyone has their own battles, and the nature of the battle is not what is important here. What is important, is that no matter how dark and bloody those battles become, you can beat them. You can win against them. Everyone, every single person, has the ability to change. The ability to look their fears in the eyes and say “you know what, to hell with this, I am not going to live like this anymore.” It won’t make the dragons die necessarily, some things you fight with your whole life, but it will put them under your control.

6 years, and I have astoundingly few claw marks. Yes, I have battle scars…but I am a warrior…and every warrior has scars.

Whatever you are fighting my friends, whatever name your dragon bears…remember this: your story? Is so, so far from over.

Rage on my warriors, rage on.

Posted in Below the waterline, Reflections, Transitions | 1 Comment

Running Start – At Sea – [08/15/2017]

Posted on August 15, 2017 by GypsyShaughnessy

Honey, we all came here because we were running from something. We all stay because we finally found a place where we can stop running

A former colleague of mine – now long retired I think – said that to me one night at one of the passenger bars, it stuck with me. Has ever since.

We all came to Mamma Ocean because we were running from something on land.

I suppose in my own way, I’m no different

An odd thing has started happening ot me lately, I have realized that when I’m at work? I’m at peace. Yes, the job is hard sometimes, but the up-sides do outweigh the downs. Getting here is a pain? But once I’m here? It’s sometimes as if a ten pound weight drops off my shoulders. Life makes sense here, routines are comforting, I know the rules, I know the people. My appetite nearly instantly returns (I wolfed down a full omelet this morning, that has been unusual for me these days), and I sleep. Worked like a madwoman all day yesterday (Seriously, embark day does not stop, ever), and fell into bed before 11, and there were no dreams…not one. Or at least not that I remember, not the type that usually keep me up at night.

Or course it does help that I love the new room. They shuffled the cabins around so that we’re up on the top deck, no window but the room is huge, it feels almost like a small apartment, with tons of floor space and FOUR closets! There will even be room for my guitar when it arrives! And…almost enough room for my books. Almost 😉

Stop running Shaughnessy, for the next little while…you’re home.

Posted in Below the waterline, Reflections | 1 Comment